to greater things beyond the unknown||RK96000||

Chapter 15: The Unknown Beyond

ao3 - RK96000

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When Shouyou leaves the train station nearby Karasuno and makes his way to the park, he frowns when Kageyama isn't already there.

It means more time alone with his thoughts- which is something he's already had far too much of for his own liking.

For the past two days, everyone at Aoba Johsai had left him alone- his only respite had been when he could secretly text Kenma (and by extension, Kuroo) and Tsukishima and Yamaguchi outside of classes. If it hadn't been for them- Shouyou would rather not think about it.

Because Tooru had wanted to give Shouyou space, he had even agreed to let him go to hang out with Kageyama alone! Kageyama had seemed, unsurprisingly, incredibly relieved when Shouyou had texted him the news, even if only in his usual socially awkward manner.

Tooru did make Shouyou promise to text him if he needed anything, though, (even if Shouyou knew he would never actually be able to bother him).

Not only that, but he had told him he would meet him by the train station near Shouyou's place at the scheduled time when he and Kageyama would stop practicing, because Tooru was caring and kind and the best boyfriend to ever boyfriend.

And at least Tooru, who for the most part, did try to give him space, had sent him a few, stupidly mushy texts each day- ones that made his heart warm and a silly smile stretch on his face from how sweet they were, even as those same hopeful, fluttering feelings faded away soon after when he remembered his friends.

Kunimi and Kindaichi had stayed away.

Throughout each lunch period and break, he could hear their quiet conversations and occasionally, he would glance over and his breath would catch in his throat at how happy they seemed (without him). Something in him would twist and he couldn't even tell whether the bitter words ablaze in his throat were meant for them or for himself- for daring to think he could ever belong, that someone could ever look at him and see something worth seeing.

Shouyou has always known he was an intruder on friendships that had long been at play without him but no one had ever truly made him feel so out of place.

Kunimi and Kindaichi are clearly better off without him- maybe, everyone is.

For the past few days, Shouyou has had more time than he ever has to think and think (and realize that his mother was right).

Ever since that one spring afternoon, he had known the truth, but even now, it lays unbidden and unwanted in his chest, tainting his heart with each beat it dared to take.

"Hey, dumbass."

And Shouyou had never thought being called such an idiot could provide him with such great relief (the memories of his mother's silence are burned into his mind- anything and anyone was better than being alone again, with only himself to blame).

"I'm not a dumbass!" Shouyou argues instead, grinning even as he does.

Kageyama rolls his eyes but he follows Shouyou when he sets off towards the park nearby anyways. "I called your name like three times. You only responded to dumbass."

Shouyou coughs to try and pretend like he isn't flushing with embarrassment. "No," he says. "You're a dumbass!"

The comeback isn't one of his best, to say the least.

Kageyama's fingers twitch beside him, a deadpan stare set in a chilling glare that sends shivers down his spine. "Really," he says.

"Anyway." Shouyou forces a laugh so he won't run away and hide behind the nearest tree. "We're here!"