to greater things beyond the unknown||RK96000||

Chapter 12: Rise from the Ashes (and then Fall)

ao3 - RK96000

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Shouyou is an idiot- he should've seen this coming from the few times it's already happened and honestly, the fact that he even let this happen only speaks to how much of an absolute dumbass he is.

And so, Shouyou sits in the middle of the hallway, desperately heaving in breath after breath even as his hands shake out in front of him, and wishing he wasn't so stupid.

If he was normal, he wouldn't flinch at the stupidest things and perceive threats where none existed-

"Shouyou," a voice calls out, and Shouyou buries his head in his arms and hopes that maybe, they'll think he's dead and leave him alone.

Then, he hears them settle besides him- far enough that they were carefully giving him enough space, space that he didn't even deserve-

"There isn't any reason you have to be nice," Shouyou says, glancing up with a heavy frown at his overly supportive boyfriend. "I was being stupid for no reason."

"Do I need a reason other than loving you?"

His breath catches in his throat.

"But," he says, trembling and unsure where Tooru is so certain. Then, two words flash in his mind from so long ago. "I'm me- "

"And I love you all the more for it," Tooru responds instantly in turn and when Shouyou has no words (how could one person love him for being himself and another despise him for it?), Tooru softens and slides a bit closer, reaching out his hand onto the hallway floor, outstretched- an offer to hold hands, not a demand, and maybe it's stupid to find it so sweet but he does. From his affectionate boyfriend who clings to him whenever he can, it means everything.

Shouyou doesn't reach his hand out quite yet, though- regardless of how touching the gesture felt, he still trembles with the residue fear clinging to his skin and his breaths are too shaky for him to feel like doing anything normal at the moment.

"But I freaked out in front of the entire team," Shouyou blurts out and winces while Tooru considers his words and then shrugs.

"I don't think you freaked out, Shou-chan!" Tooru tells him.

Shouyou huffs out a nervous laugh. "Uh, I'm pretty sure I did?"

"Well," Tooru shakes his head, all with a small smile on his face, "I'm pretty sure it was a reasonable reaction due to trauma!"

When Shouyou stares, utterly unconvinced, Tooru sighs a little and drops the smile, gaze turning serious. "Your mother hit you- and even before that, she never provided the emotional support a kid needs from their mom... I don't think any of your reactions due to what she's done can ever be called freaking out or overreacting or anything."

Shouyou shrinks a little into himself at the words- never providing emotional support definitely sounded accurate, but to even think that felt like a betrayal of his duty to his mother as her son.

"I don't know..." Shouyou says, even as he hates the way his uncertainty makes Tooru seem just the slightest bit sadder.

Tooru shakes his head again and then, as if resolving himself, "That's okay, too! I can tell you as many times as you need to learn that it's true."

"But I don't deserve that-" the words rush out before he can stop them and Tooru's expression darkens before it forcibly lightens up and a definitively fake smile takes its place that lightens with his following words.