Its Not Okay

203 6 0
                                    

WARNING: Mentions of SA, Addiction, Suicide
_________________________________

Bakugou had started taking Xanax for his anxiety. He would get it from some of the bum kids who would hang around in the alleys. Of course, he hadn't told anyone about this, not even Kirishima. Kirishima had been consistently going to therapy after the assault, he seemed to be doing okay. Bakugou could not rid himself of the guilt he felt, he felt responsible for what had happened to Kirishima. There weren't enough friends who assured him otherwise that could help him get rid of those feelings.

The Xanax though? It helped, truthfully he felt numb on them. But there was something euphoric about it. He hadn't taken more than absolutely necessary since he started, but recently he upped his normal dose. There was something so sweet about feeling so numb that he couldn't shake. Of course, he couldn't do this around Kirishima though. He'd normally sneak out at night, once everyone was asleep. He'd pop a few and allow himself a high while he quietly watched tv on the couch. More often than not he'd fall asleep on the couch, Kirishima would catch him and wonder why he'd gotten out of bed. Bakugou had started blaming it on nightmares or insomnia. He felt like Kirishima bought it, since his red haired counterpart never questioned it.

Kirishima caught him this morning again, on the couch.

"Hey." Kirishima shook Bakugou awake.
"...hey..." Bakugou answered groggily.

"You really need to stop falling asleep out here with the TV on. You're gonna run up the electric bill." Kirishima joked as he handed Bakugou a breakfast bowl.

"Heh, maybe. The background noise helps." Bakugou lied. He couldn't help but feel guilty every time.

"Anyway, what do you want to do today? I thought maybe we could go walk the park and get coffees or something." Kirishima suggested.

"Yeah that sounds fun." Bakugou was so drowsy though, it happened every time he'd take the Xanax. He'd feel drowsy all day off of it.

"You seem tired still, how late did the nightmares keep you up?" Kirishima looked at him concerned.

"... for awhile. I'll be fine. Coffee will help." Bakugou tried to keep his lies quick. It felt like a stab to his heart every time they'd come out of his mouth. "I'm going to go shower and stuff, we can leave after."

Kirishima nodded and watched his boyfriend walk off towards the shower. Denki poked his head out of the room not too long after.

"Sup little red." Denki taunted.
"I can't tell you how much I hate that nickname." Kirishima laughed, "where's Sero?"

"He went out on some morning run, I guess he's trying to be up earlier. Seems counter productive to me though, gets up early, runs and comes back just to sleep the rest of the day." Denki explained while shoving left over bacon from Kirishima's cooking into his mouth.

"... question." Kirishima said.
" hmm?" Denki said, mouth still full of bacon.
"Does Bakugou seem off to you?" Kirishima looked concerned.

"Yeah, now that you mention it. I keep hearing him get up in the middle of the night. Not sure what that's all about."

"Well he keeps saying he's having nightmares, and they keep him up." Kirishima explained.

"Hmmm... do you believe him?" Denki asked, brow furrowed.

"No. I don't." Kirishima admitted.

________________________________

Drunk on youWhere stories live. Discover now