Drunk on you

Onto me.

TW: mentions of SA, addiction, suicide 

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"Well, I'd confront him about it." Denki said, mouth still full of bacon. 

"Yeah, yeah well he isn't that easy to get stuff out of. You know that," Kirishima retorted. 

Denki shrugged. Kirishima walked back into the room he shared with his blonde counterpart, the shower was still running. Kirishima carefully opened each of Bakugou's drawers. If he was hiding something, he'd find it. 

As he was looking around his room, he noticed Bakugou had left his phone on his bedside table. Kirishima reluctantly took it, he had never gone through his boyfriend's phone before. 

Was it an invasion of privacy? It felt so wrong to even be holding it without Bakugou standing in front of him. Before he could make up his mind, he heard the shower shut off. That decided it for him, he quickly put Bakugou's phone back down and walked out of their room. 

Once Bakugou had dried off he got dressed. Though it was warm outside, he couldn't help but feel chilled. It had been happening since he started abusing the Xanax. He could kick himself, he'd get so frustrated that stupid anxiety had gotten THAT bad. 

Thinking about it created that all too familiar panic start to creep up in the back of his head. He pulled his black sweatpants and orange hoodie on and opened his dresser drawer up, within in it, he had created a small opening to hide his Xanax in. No one would be able to see it unless they were to empty absolutely everything out of his drawer OR they knew where to look. 

"I only need one. I don't need to be high." Bakugou whispered to himself. He quickly popped a Xanax into his mouth and swallowed. Quietly, he covered the secret opening and closed his drawer. 

"Hey babe, you almost ready?" Kirishima asked walking into the room. 

"Yeah, we can go." Bakugou assured him. He felt a pit in his stomach. He hated lying to Kirishima. 

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Bakugou and Kirishima frequented their favorite coffee shop downtown. Bakugou's go to coffee was their caramel latte and Kirishima preferred their caramel macchiato. After ordering and taking a seat outside where they could see the whole downtown park, Bakugou started to feel the effects of the Xanax. He wasn't high but he felt that numbness take over, it relaxed him. 

"Kats, aren't you hot in that?" Kirishima asked looking at Bakugou's sweatpants and hoodie. Bakugou shook his head, "I was kind of cold." 

"Cold? It's 76 degrees outside. Are you feeling okay?" 

"I'm fine. Probably just tired still." 

Kirishima didn't like that response but didn't press the matter further. He looked at his blonde haired boyfriend. He seemed so unlike himself, he was pale, had bags under his eyes, he even looked thinner than normal. Kiri felt his stomach twist into a knot... this was all because Bakugou felt responsible for his assault. 

"Hey..." Kiri said quietly. 

"Mmm?" Bakugou responded mid sip of his warm caramel latte. 

"...You know it wasn't your fault right..?" Kiri looked at him gently. Bakugou froze, if it weren't for the Xanax in his system right now, he would've freaked out. 

"Yeah. Yeah babe I know." He whispered. 

"Is there something else going on? You haven't seemed like yourself lately... and the night-" 

"-I'm okay Eijirou. Relax." Bakugou interrupted. Though it was an interruption, his response was still calm, his tone of voice wasn't even his usual.

"I don't believe you." Kirishima was starting to get frustrated. Bakugou started to mess with the extra Xanax he has tucked into his pocket, just in case. Sometimes the one wasn't enough to keep the panic at bay anymore. 

"I don't know what you're not believing. Everything is fine." Bakugou said. Kirishima slammed his coffee into the table, emitting a surprised glance from Bakugou. 

"Whatever. Keep lying to me. I don't need this, I'm dealing with enough on my own Katsuki. I don't need you acting all weird and mysterious on top of it." Kirishima stated angrily. Bakugou was stunned looking at him and suddenly, he could feel that panic returning. 

"--E, I-I didn't-" Bakugou tried, 

"No just stop. I know something hasn't been right with you and you won't just be honest with me. I'm your person, why is it so hard for you? You spill everything to Midoriya so easily, but never to me." Kirishima had tears in the corners of his eyes. He got up and grabbed his keys. 

"Ei, where you going?" Bakugou got up after him. 

"Don't. Touch. Me." Kirishima yanked himself away from Bakugou. He continued to walk off down the sidewalk, leaving Bakugou alone outside the coffee shop, with curious bystanders. He felt so sick to his stomach. He walked down the street to find a secluded area. 

Once Bakugou knew he was away from any curious onlookers, he ducked into an alleyway. He collapsed against the wall and sank to sit. 

"fuck. I'm an idiot." he muttered to himself. He reached into his pocket and grabbed the extra Xanax . He stared at the bag for awhile, clenching it in his fist. He felt tears falling down his face. 

"what the fuck is wrong with me?" he angrily wiped them off his face. He was so over this, over all of it. The guilt, the anger, the worrying. He popped the extra two Xanax he had into his mouth and swallowed. 

He stayed leaning against the alleyway wall for awhile. He knew three wasn't enough to kill him, especially since the first one had been taken over an hour ago. But he did know he was going to be too high to try and get home. He sighed at his stupidity and impulse. He knew he had to call someone before the high got too bad. But who? 

He heart dropped as Kirishima's statement replayed in his head, "You spill everything to Midoriya so easily, but never to me." 

"Ugh. I'm sorry Ei." he thought to himself as he pulled out his phone and called the only person he ever truly trusted his feelings with. 

"Kaachan?" He heard the familiar voice question on the other end of the phone.

"Hey nerd..." shit his speech was already starting to slur. 

"Are you okay? You don't sound okay." 

"I need you to com' ge- me...'m downtown, in between bookstore and comic shop.." he really had to focus to make that Clear. 

"I'm on my way."

Bakugou hung up and felt the high slowly taking him over. He felt so tired, but he tried to fight it until Deku got there. Despite his best efforts, he couldn't help but doze off. 

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