Separation

[23]

*AUTHORS NOTE*

Hi friends. A few things.

1..don't hate me i'm so sorry
2. please give me inline comments again or i will cease to exist and i mean that literally
3. reiterating point number one, please don't hate me i'm so sorry

______________________

Day 2

Hoolllaaannnddd... I sat up in bed, clutching my chest as I tried to catch my breath. I looked around the room, expecting to see Theo lurking in the shadows but all of the lights were still on, and daylight filtered through the blinds.

I wanted to feel calm because I was surrounded by familiar belongings, but it didn't feel right; I knew where I really was, and I knew that this was all a ploy to make me feel comfortable and then he would attack, revealing the true reason why he kidnapped me.

I couldn't stop the tears from flowing as I brought my knees up to my chest, the situation bearing down on me. I clutched my hand in my own, and squeezed.

Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.

But even that action was tainted by Theo; so I cried harder.

Stop crying, and get it together. You need to try and escape again. These thoughts were not my own, and I didn't feel safe in my own mind.

No, I needed to see Ryker first, and know that he was alive. I can't go on not knowing the fate of both of my loves. There's no way for me to know about Grey, but I can know about Ryker if Theo was telling the truth.

Forget about him. He clearly forgot about you and left you alone even though he knew some psycho was out there to get you.

I brought my chin down to my chest, and held my head in my hands, trying to purge these unwanted thoughts from my head.

No, it wasn't his fault that Theo took me. He couldn't have known. He was going after Grey and getting him back for us. It's not his fault.

Put yourself first for once, and get the fuck out of here! The voice shouted, and I screamed out in frustration. It felt like the walls were closing in on me along with these intrusive thoughts.

Stop whining and get your shit together! How can you save yourself if you're just falling apart at the drop of a hat?!

I tried to drag in air but my lungs had shriveled up again, and the tears were nonstop. I can't do this. I can't do this.

I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this.

I can't do this.

I can't do this.

Arms were around me but they weren't the ones I wanted. I thrashed against them, his repulsive scent of cedar wood overwhelming me.

"One..." he started counting, but it only made me cry harder. Nothing he can do will ever make me feel better; he's just adding on to the pile of everything that is wrong with the situation.

"Stop...please..." I begged; to the voice and to him. I just wanted it all to stop.

His scent no longer surrounded me but it still hung in the air. A weight settled on my shoulders and back and I sank into it, letting the crushing weight of the blanket keep me grounded in the moment. I wrapped it around me and laid down, curling up into a ball, trying to steady my breathing as the extra weight kept me balanced.

I was staring at the chair that was against the wall in front of me, sitting directly in front of the bed. I furrowed my eyebrows. I don't have that chair in my bedroom. He said he wanted this to be an exact replica of my room, yet he has something that isn't there? And why is it facing my bed? Is it so he can watch me in my sleep?