Playing with feelings

27

He had a dream. It was a pretty recurring one, at least for the last few nights, and it would always start and end in the same way. There was nothing extremely extravagant about it, but something about it was sticking with him. Each time, it would start with him waking up to the sunrise and turning over to a full bed. Emmy was always the one occupying the other half and he would always wake up first. He'd get her coffee and they'd drink it together in bed. It always ended with two little girls running into the room and he'd wake up after they'd cuddled together, had a pillow fight or some variation of the two. He thought maybe the normalcy of it was what his mind craved so much. The fullness of the family in the picture— he thought that maybe the longing he had for it was manifesting itself in his dreams.

But alas, it was only a dream, and like many other nights since she'd left last week, he was waking up from it and had to drop it and start his day.

Today was only a little different in that instead of going to teach, he was leaving for Oakland. Pretty much everyone was leaving today. Rafa and Kim were driving up, he and Amber were as well, and even Jasmine and James were set to leave later in the day. Everyone was going except the two people he wished he could've persuaded more.

He stood up from bed in his pajamas and headed out of his room to wake Amber up. His hands patted her shoulder a couple times as she rested on the toddler bed. "Good morning Amber," he said softly, "Did you sleep well?"

Amber slowly opened her eyes and immediately reached out her arms to be picked up. She took her spot on her Daddy's hip and let her head catch a few more Z's on his shoulder. Daveed worked to get the both of them ready so they could start their road-trip North.

He had packed the car last night so all that was left to add was Amber's backpack of toys that she insisted on carrying herself. Daveed grabbed a baseball cap and his keys and out they went.

On the steps of the front door, Daveed was locking it for the next three months. When he finished, he grabbed Amber's hand. "Say 'See you in three months'" he told her.

"See you in three months," she said with a giggle. She blew a kiss at the door and then let go of Daveed's hand to happily skip down the stairs and to the loaded SUV.

He followed behind his daughter and helped her to her seat before taking his own. With some slow jams radiating through the car speakers, the two of them were off, backing out of the driveway and getting on the road.

Before they could get too far out of Los Angeles, Daveed stopped at a gas station to both fill his tank and grab some obligatory snacks.

"Daddy, can I get a slushee?" Amber asked as they stepped through the fully stocked convenience store.

He pondered briefly as normally he would say no to such a sweet drink at this hour of the morning. Thinking back on all his road trips as a kid, however, made him remember how much he loved getting a giant red slurpee from the 7-eleven on the corner of Broadway in Oakland, and riding the whole way with stained lips and a cup that never seemed to empty.

"Go for it," he ultimately answered before following her to the machines. Clearly her father's daughter she was, she pointed to the biggest cup and the Cherry flavor for him to fill it up with.

She carried the cup that was roughly the size of her entire torso with a bounce in her step, already excited as she sipped it down. This was her first real road-trip and first time in Oakland, save for the time she spent in her mother's belly.

It was a road-trip from Oakland to Los Angeles that led to the ill-fated accident though it would be many years before Daveed let her know that. They hadn't even made it out of the city that time and Daveed hadn't been back there since. For him, this drive brought a lot of emotion that only compounded the high level he was already feeling because of everything with Emmy. It was taking him by surprise this sadness he felt over things with her ending, but it was fitting as falling in love that quickly was also a surprise.