Playing with feelings

35 (extra chapter)

The air had a slight chill typical of California winters yet the family of 4 was huddled in the car on the way to the ice cream shop. They had just pulled out of the driveway of the home they had all been living in for over 6 months now, and there was a bit of mixed emotion over the forthcoming afternoon treat.

The girls sat excitedly in the back, having been waiting for this moment since they sat down for dinner. Daveed on the other hand was driving, rather quietly, as this outing carried a much larger weight for him than everyone else. He kept tapping the steering wheel with attempts to distract himself. Every now and then he would join in the girls' conversation or say something random to Emmy, anything to take some of the pressure from his head.

It was Emmy's first time being with him for this day, even though the actual day was tomorrow. She and Camryn were joining in on Daveed and Amber's tradition a day early because tomorrow, Daveed would be heading to Oakland for a reunion with his old band, the Getback.

She kept her hand on his knee and let him lead their conversations. It was the best method she could think of to comfort him and not overstep.

"And I think we're here," Daveed mustered up some cheerfulness while he turned into the parking lot of his favorite ice cream shop.

A sung trail of "Yay" floated from the back of the SUV and both Daveed and Emmy hopped out to help the girls out of the car.

They walked up to the door in a horizontal row, the parents on the ends holding the hands of their kids who walked between them.

"Daddy, are we going to get an extra ice cream?" Amber looked up at Daveed, remembering what they had done her whole life.

"Because one is for your Mommy?" Camryn added on to the questions. She knew about as much as a 5 year old could comprehend, and Daveed had been fairly open with explaining why they were specifically getting ice cream today.

"Yes to both questions," he nodded back at his daughters, both biological and adopted, before noticing it was their chance to order. He got the girls' orders and then ordered his own plus an extra scoop of red velvet.

They sat at one of the circle tables and began to dig in. Daveed took a couple bites before he couldn't bring himself to stomach anymore. It never really got easier to eat Amanda's favorite ice cream without her.

Emmy was sitting next to him and couldn't help but notice him push the cup away. She rubbed his back and got his attention with her eyes. "You okay?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah," he nodded back slowly, "I can never eat much of it, but I still want to do something to celebrate her."

"I'm sure she's smiling down on you now," she replied with a smile on her own.

Across the table, Camryn and Amber found it easy to enjoy the birthday celebrations, and both of them cleaned their cups in just minutes. They were chatting now, but their flow was broken when Camryn noticed the melty red velvet on the edge of the table.

"If your Mommy's not here, then where is she?" she asked out of pure curiosity.

"Camryn." Emmy said sternly, shooting her a glare.

"No, it's okay," Daveed shook his head and patted Emmy's knee to assure her that he wasn't offended, "She's in heaven now, which is a very happy place. But she can still see us, and that's why we get her ice cream on her birthday. To let her know that we love her very much."

"Oh," the gears started to turn in her little brain, "Do you eat it too?"

Daveed chuckled at her questions, "Why don't you and Amber share it?"