independent. | Jace Wayland

chapter 19: nightime visits.

<Jace's Pov>

New York Institute, Upper East side Manhattan

Wednesday, 07:24 p.m

I shoved open the door of the library looking for Hodge and spotted him behind his desk, signing a letter and attaching it to Hugo.

"Back so soon, it didn't think you'd be back so-" He began but i shrugged off my jacket and dropped it on a nearby chair.

"Blackwell is dead." I said bluntly and he looked up at me, the element of surprise at my words present in his expression.

"What? What are you talking about Jace?" Hodge stood from his chair and walked around to lean against his desk. I sat in the arm chair beside the fire and put my head in my hands, the weight of the events this afternoon provided, hanging heavy on my shoulders.

"He was waiting for us, I heard something so I went to check the stairs but the door sealed between Y/n and I, trapping her inside with him. I didn't even see him there Hodge, she was stuck in there with that monster."

"If you were sealed out, how did you kill Blackwell? Slow down Jace." Hodge instructed and I took a deep breath. The image of Y/n surrounded by a pool of his dark blood flickering to the front of my mind.

"I didn't kill Blackwell Hodge, Y/n did." He paused, "an, until recently, mundane girl killed a middle aged highly dangerous Circle member." I said and Hodge looked into the fire which burned intently.

"Oh the poor dear," He mumbled to himself, "but that's good isn't it? She's a fighter, she's one of us Jace." Hodge thought and something sparked in my chest.

"Yes but you should have seen her Hodge, she- I shouldn't have let us get separated, she was argh- that's not the point!" I half yelled.

"Then what is the point?"

"The point is I should have protected her, but I didn't. She could have been killed, she could have been taken today and that would have been on me Hodge. My fault!" I shouted, my breaths rugged and uneven.

"You care for her." His comment caught me off guard, I was standing up by this point and I whirled to face him.

"Of course I do, the Clave asked me to protect her but I almost got her killed today!" I waved my hands and Hodge sighed.

"No, I mean you care for her. Truely."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I shook my head and headed for the door, grabbing my jacket as I left.

<Y/n's Pov>

You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. You killed him.

I felt cold hands grip my shoulders and my eyes opened, I was shaking, Jace looking down at me.

"Y/n, Y/n, wake up. It's okay." He soothed, the words ringing in my ears. A cold sweat trickled down my neck and ran my hand through my hair.

"Wayland?" I asked, sleep and my voice low and thicker.

"You were yelling. I thought- I thought you were in trouble." He was sitting on the edge of the bed, I turned to lie on my side to face him, curving into his side.

"I'm sorry- bad dream..." I said and he nodded, he moved a strand of my hair from my face and his fingers glided down to my shoulder.

"Was this?" He asked, my mind flickered back to before the door had shut between us, Jace had seen my scar.

"From the accident? Yes. I don't remember the pain, I just had a permanent reminder that it was real." I said and he looked down

"Y/n I'm sorry about what happened today." He couldn't look me in the eye, I sat up. "I shouldn't have let him separate us, I shouldn't have put you in that position. I'm sorry you had to- I'm sorry I left you." He broke off, the distress this was causing him clear in his features.

"Jace, it wasn't your fault..." He didn't react, "hey, look at me." I cupped his jaw and pulled his face towards mine. "I don't blame you for any of this, and you shouldn't blame yourself either. Don't do that to yourself Jace, it's okay." I said softly and he raised his face a little more, his eyes finally meeting my eyes. A small shimmer of gold pulsing in his eyes, they trailed to my lips, then back to my eyes again.

He leaned in and brushed his lips against mine. I leaned into him and tried my hand from where it cupped his jaw, into his hair and he kissed me harder. The sweet taste of him hummed in my mouth and I smiled into the kiss, he pulled away.

The butterflies danced and fluttered inside of me and I felt as if the moon itself, glowing beyond the curtains, displayed a crooked smile.

"I'm sorry I-" He began but I ran my thumb over his lips.

"By the Angel Wayland, if you apologize one more time, you're going out the window. It's okay." I said playfully and they seemed to visibly soften at my words.

Instead of replying, he leaned in again, more forceful this time, pushing me a little further back into the bed. His hand caressing my neck, his hand smoothening over the chain where my family ring hung over my neck. He smiled, his teeth skimming my lip and I pulled away.

"Get some sleep okay? Izzy told me you're starting training in the morning..." He said and stood.

"But I could get used to this." I smiled and he crouched, resting his palms on the bed, leaning over to place one more kiss on my lips.

"Goodnight Cartwright."

"Goodnight Wayland."