𝙻𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑

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╔ ╗
𝚉𝙰𝚁𝙴𝙻𝙸 𝚁𝙷𝚈𝚂 𝙹𝙾𝙷𝙽𝚂𝙾𝙽
𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙽𝙴𝚇𝚃 𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶
𝟷𝟶:𝟻𝟸 𝙰𝙼
𝙻𝙰𝙳𝚈 𝙾𝙵 𝙳𝙴𝙰𝚃𝙷
╚. ╝

     I heard my ringtone and slowly started to wake up.

I looked to see the TV paused on Criminal Minds. I didn't know how I got to sleep, it was more than a struggle most nights.

I felt the firmness of someone laying under me and tried to take in my surroundings. I looked down and seen Lucian, I started to notice his arms wrapped around my waist and me laying comfortably on his chest.

It surprised me more than anything so I pushed off of his chest and sat up. His hands reached to grab my hips and it felt familiar, welcomed almost.

"Where ya' phone? Turn that shit off.." He said not letting me go.

"I can't do that if you holding me Ce.." I spoke back, my voice softer than I wanted it.

His eyes opened slightly, taking me in, before promptly closing again. He let my waist go and I twisted off of him to search the covers and then my nightstand.

I had figured it could be no one but my dad or Amara.. Or maybe Mehki, I know how the boy loves his attention.

I hoped it was my friend. It had been a while since I'd spoken to or seen Amara and I'd almost forgot about her. The two new presences in my life filling my head.

"Zareli cut it off." He said with more attitude.

"I gotta find it first, damn." I said with an attitude of my own, I hated being rushed.

"I should let that bitch ring," I muttered this time, feeling the short attitude leave and be replaced by something else when he grabbed my ankle and started to pull me back to him.

I giggled a little, which was far from the Zareli I'd known, and pulled back having finally found the phone ready to answer it.

I rolled away from him and made my way into the bathroom connected to my room. I closed the door and answered the phone without checking who it was.

"Hello?" I spoke.

"Hey Zee, what you doin'?"

I heard Amara's voice and let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding, I was relieved that she was okay or at least sounded okay.

"Nothing, just waking up. What you been doing? Act like you can't call nobody no more." I said with a fake attitude.

I missed her company more than anything, I wanted to tell her about Mehki and what's going on with my dad.

I wanted to keep Lucian for myself, she didn't have to know about him..

"Tryna figure some shit out, I know you seen the video..." She spoke the last part of her sentence quietly like she was afraid of a reaction.

"I did, I'm not judging you for what you did. I just want you to be okay and feel like you could talk to me."

I knew what to say.. I always did.

Everything sounded good, of course. But I can't tell you in my heart that I felt what I said. I didn't honestly care if she felt like she could talk to me or maybe even if she was okay.

I cared about whether she was there for me to talk to and be around. She was fun, and of course I wanted to really feel affectionate towards the girl.

I just never could, it's been years and me not being able to love her had me questioning if I was even capable.

Nobody had been as good of a friend to me as Amara had in the past.

"I do feel like I can talk to you, you know it's just some stuff you gotta go through alone." She said and I smirked to myself in the mirror.

"Of course, I'm glad you called. I did want to give you your space but I was finna come check on you ina minute." I chuckled.

She did too before Lucian walked in the bathroom, giving me a look I gladly returned.

"Who is that?" He asked.

"Who is who?" I retorted.

"Don't play wit' me.."

"Don't play wit' me.." I mocked him before leaving the bathroom and finishing my conversation.

"Girl who is that? Sound like he look good." Amara said.

"Nobody, he a li ugly in the face," I replied lying through my teeth.

I had successfully changed the subject and before it mattered the phone call was over.

I settled under my covers feeling drowsy; I felt the bed sink before I sat up again.

"Can you go home?"

"For what? You mad at me?"

"What would I be mad for? I want you to go 'cause I don't know you and you den made yourself more than comfortable in my bed." I replied.

I turned to look at him and saw him talking, though it was drowned out by the voice behind him.

I looked over his shoulder at the figure I knew too well, feeling my body feel with dread. I had to know this wasn't real, but the way it spoke and moved said so much more.

"Hey Zee.." It dragged.

"No. No, thank you." I said moving swiftly through the room and to my door.

I heard it continue to talk as I made my way down the stairs.

"No, thank you what? Are you embarrassed to be sharing a bed wit' somebody youn know? After everything I've put into place to protect you? Aren't you embarrassed?"

"There's no way I don't know him. You know everything I feel and go through, you know it's as true as I say it is." I respond firmly.

"I know the devil is the prettiest thing some people lay eyes on..." It replied.

"You 'posed to be the biggest baddest wolf in the world and what you doing to show it? Letting Mehki run you over? Being stupid letting a nigga in yo' bed? Being friends wit' a bitch so somebody gon' listen to you?" Yelling the last part, it had me thinking.

I stopped where I was by the door with my keys in hand..

Maybe it was time for someone to go.. The thought had me instantly relaxed and I'd almost felt grateful to have It in my ear.

They told me what I needed to know, that I had something to do tonight.