Rise To Fame

Chapter 23

Trigger Warning: Mentions of suicide

(Jamie's POV)

"Pizza or chinese?"

It's been a few weeks since the disaster of the home-cooked meal, but it didn't all end badly. We managed to laugh about the situation and ordered food in. The casserole couldn't be saved. We were sat cross legged, side by side, on the sofa for a few hours, eating chinese food and drinking red wine. It was actually a really nice evening, and we talked a lot too. I told her how I'd ended it with Ellie, she was just as surprised as I was at how well she took it, we talked about us, we talked about how we'd been coping with our things individually. The best part was I got a kiss at the end of the night. I didn't even ask or make hints, she kissed me, and I felt fireworks. So she came back the next night, and the next night, and the next. She's been out with Martin a few times, but he's often busy with his new man, so most nights she ends up here. We both agreed that she may as well move in. She suggested it actually. She sleeps in the spare room and I sleep in my room. There's no expectation of anything, it's nice.

I have had to go in to her room a few times to wake her up from nightmares. Some have been worse than others, with screaming and cold sweats, but they're all still horrible to see. No-one should have to deal with that.

"Y/n?" I call from the living room through to her room. "Did you hear what I-"

I walk to her room but freeze when I see her staring blankly at the TV.

"Y/n, what's wrong?"

Silent tears are falling down her cheeks.

"It's Brian," she says. "He's dead."

(Y/n's POV)

"What?" Jamie asks, confused, as he looks at the TV.

"That man," I point to the screen, "is Brian."

I listen as the newsreader talks about Brian and how he died. His body was found in his home, in his bathtub, with his wrists slit.

He killed himself.

I run past Jamie and into the bathroom where I throw up into the toilet.

I hear the TV be turned off, then footsteps coming towards me.

He pulls my hair away from my face and gently rubs my back.

"It's okay," he says calmly. "Get it all out."

I heave until there's nothing left to come up.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I shake my head wearily, weak from emptying my stomach.

He sits on the edge of the bath, but I can't stay here. I can just picture Brian lying in our own bath, bleeding out.

I push myself up from the floor and make my way back to my room.

"Y/n." His voice sounds warning.

"Jamie."

"Don't go in there. Stay here, with me. We can talk about it, or take your mind off it. We can go for a walk."

"Please, Jamie. I won't do anything stupid," I lie. "I just need to be by myself for a bit."

He raises an eyebrow. He obviously doesn't believe me.

"Please," he begs. "Come out with me. Anywhere you want to go."

"I want to go to my room."

"Anywhere but there. Unless I can come too."

"No."

He sighs.

"Look," I say. "You never got around to ordering the food. Chinese?"

He looks at me suspiciously. "Are you going to eat with me?"

"Of course I am."

"Okay..."

"You know what my order is."

He slowly turns and walks into the living room to get his phone.

I take that as an opportunity to run to my room and lock the door behind me.

(Jamie's POV)

I hear the sound of the door closing behind me.

"Y/n!"

It locks just as I reach the door handle.

"Please don't do it," I beg as I hammer on the door.

But she doesn't answer.

"Fuck." I say to myself as I slide my back down the door until I'm sat on the floor.

How could I have been so stupid?

(Y/n's POV)

I hear the defeat in his voice as he slumps onto the floor on the other side of my door.

It nearly breaks my heart.

I look at the blade in my hand, so tempted. I want to. I need to.

But I can't.

After putting the blade away, I unlock the door and slowly open it so I don't make him fall over.

He turns and looks up at me, surprised.

"You didn't....?"

"Take my mind off it," I say quickly before I can change my decision.

He nods and stands up, taking my hand in his.

"We're going out."