"Jamie," I say in a low voice. "Please move out the way."
"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I was just messing around, you know that."
"Please move," I say again.
"Look at me. I'm just joking-"
My fist flies forward and connects with his nose before I can com...
She's still curled up on the sofa, shielding herself from me and anyone else.
"It's not your fault," she shrugs.
"If I'd have insisted on taking you out, you wouldn't have been on your own and it never would have happened."
"Jamie, you were never going to get me to go out yesterday. I'd promised Martin."
"Martin. Does he know?"
"No, and I don't intend for him to find out because it will destroy him. He didn't exactly put up much of a fight when I left him with that guy, and he'll try to take the blame for what happened but it's not his fault either. So please. Don't tell him."
I begrudgingly nod and say I won't tell Martin, even though I feel I should do otherwise.
"Well," I say, "we need to go to the police."
She shakes her head quickly, "No. No police."
"Y/n, you have to tell them. You can't let him get away with it."
"I don't even know who it was, Jamie. I can remember minor details about his face, but nothing that would pick him out of a crowd."
"Yes but they can do tests and other stuff-"
"No. I don't want them to get involved cause it'll turn into a whole thing that will take over my life. Please. Don't make me." She whispers the last part.
I make my way over to her and, when she doesn't push me away, I wrap my arms around her.
"I'll never do anything you don't want to do. I promise."
(Y/n's POV)
It hurts me inside to push him away, but I do it anyway.
I push him away from me and I stand up off of the sofa.
"Please don't go," he says. "I want to talk about this. Us."
I sigh sadly, "Jamie I don't know what there is to talk about. You lied to me about Ellie, and I'm not starting something with you when I know you're still with her. It's not fair on me. Or her."
"Look, I'm sorry I lied. It never should have happened. I'm trying to break up with her, believe me I am. I did love her, once, but I don't anymore. I just don't know how to break up with her."
"That's not fair, Jamie. She still loves you and you're just stringing her along. But I'm not going to help you leave her. You need to do it yourself."
"Will you wait for me?" He reaches out to take my hand.
I let out a small breath, but give him my hand.
"I'll wait. For you. I can't wait forever, but I will wait. You have a month to leave her and, if you haven't be then, then I'm not sure I'll believe that you don't still love her."
I let go of his hand and leave the dressing room with a tear forming in my eye.
(Jamie's POV)
I can't believe she went through that. No-one deserves to have that happen to them.
After she leaves the room, I swipe my arm across the dressing table, knocking makeup and perfume bottles on the floor, causing an empty one to shatter and send glass shards spinning across the floor.
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I look at one of the pieces, mesmerised, and fixate on one sharp corner.
Slowly, I walk over to the door and turn the lock.
I pull up my white shirt sleeve, and gaze at the edges of my scars that peek out from under the temporary rune tattoos. I then pull up the other sleeve and see the lack of marks on that arm.
I know I shouldn't. After everything we just talked about, it's not fair for me to do this. But I need it.
I pick up the shard with my left hand, my less dominant hand, and trace it across the skin on my right arm.
The blood pools to one side of the cut and trickles down my wrist.
It's uneven, and not straight, but the imperfections almost make it beautiful.
"You should have made her," I mutter angrily to myself. "You should have made her go with you. If she'd have gone with you, it never would have happened. Fucking Marin can't keep her safe. Why won't she let me keep her safe. Fucking Ellie. Can't get rid of her."
With each statement, I make a fresh cut on my arm.
The streams of blood all merge together as the blood drips onto the wood of the dressing table.
I know I'm a hypocrite, but I'm so much more invaluable than she is. She doesn't deserve the pain she's in, but I do. I've done horrible things to good people, treated them badly.
