We All Have Secrets

chapter five

Brianna's POV

"@wordsweneversaid: I can't believe we've been talking for 2 hours straight already and you're not bored of me.."

After Dionne stopped me from purging, we've been speaking all night long. I get this crazy feeling of comfort when I talk to her, it's different to anyone else I've spoken to online; even my best friend.

"@twoworldscolliding: Why would I get bored sweetheart? You're so lovely, you gotta be kinder to yourself."

"@wordsweneversaid: I don't know. people just never really take an interest in me. it's the same with my family"

"@twoworldscolliding: Tell me about them, maybe I can help a little. I've had my fair share of family drama"

I don't even think twice about confiding in Dionne, and that's actually quite scary. I mean, she's technically a stranger, yet here I am about to tell her some of my struggles and secrets.

"@wordsweneversaid: um, well I have three sisters. I used to be super close with them but over the years we grew apart I guess"

"@twoworldscolliding: Surely there's a reason as to why you grew apart? I know how tough it can be to feel like you're slipping away from someone, but you gotta fight for what you want sweetie.."

"@wordsweneversaid: they're all just so busy, and I have too much shit going on in my head to even function properly around them. I know they don't mean to, but they make me feel worse about myself"

It's true. I mean look at my sisters. They're all beautiful, talented, successful. Who wouldn't be jealous of them? I'm just a boring 15 year old girl with zero talent compared to them. Maybe that's why I never get any main roles in tv shows like Madison, or any record deals like Demi. God, Dallas doesn't even help coach me in my acting to try and help me get a part in something. Maybe she thinks it's just a waste of her time.

"@twoworldscolliding: Oh sweetheart, I'm sure they don't mean to make you feel that way. I understand what it feels like to self loathe and feel unworthy, but I promise you that if you try your absolute hardest and confide in those around you, things will look up."

"@wordsweneversaid: I don't know Dionne, it doesn't seem worth it anymore. But enough about me, tell me about you. What's your story?"

I've never been one to talk about myself, and I don't really intend to start. Maybe with Dionne I will, but that's all. It's not as if I'll ever meet her so I won't have to deal with the awkwardness of being face to face with someone who knows all my secrets.

It's nice to know someone's listening though.

Demi's POV

Sometimes I spend my nights laying wide awake and thinking back to my struggles and what I've overcome, and I can't help but think 'damn you're fucking bad ass'.

Not to sound big-headed or whatever, but I really have come so far. I have my health, my family, friends, incredible fans, not to mention the love of my life; Wilmer. But above all that, I feel like I have freedom. Freedom from my demons. Of course I still have days where it's a little harder to deal with, but I have an incredible support system that gets me through.

If you told my younger self that years from now I'd have all the things I have now, I would have said you were crazy. But looking back, I was just a scared and vulnerable little girl who was looking for acceptance from not only everyone else, but from herself.

So now when I see girls in meet and greets or just out at the mall or wherever, it breaks my heart to see them struggling so badly. I mean, why do so many of us struggle? I wish I could sit down with every single person that confides in me and tell them that it's gonna be okay. I've said it before, but no matter how hard your rock bottom is; you can rise above it and you can come back.

Lately I've been speaking to fans online more and getting to know them a bit more personally than even their families know. They'll tell me some pretty heavy things, and I help the best that I can. I wish I could say to them "hey here's a plane ticket and passes to meet me at my concert, lets hang out!" but I can't. Firstly, for me to do that I'd have to do it for every fan I speak to or else World War 3 would happen, and secondly, I would have to reveal myself to them.

You see, I am Demi and I am talking to my fans, it just isn't obvious to them. So when I get asked "what's your story?", it's both comical and scary at the same time. I can't lie to my fans, but I can't tell the whole truth.

So for now, all I am to them is a support system.

A support system under the name of Dionne, @twoworldscolliding.