We All Have Secrets

chapter twenty one

Brianna's POV

I can't believe this. Demi is Dionne. What the fuck? All of this time, when I was pouring out my feelings to Dionne about wanting to be close to my sister again, I've really been telling it directly to Demi? How did this happen? No no no, she knows too much now. I can't believe I even told her about the assault. I am so fucking screwed.

I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I feel like someone is suffocating me. I can feel hands wrapped around my neck, only to realize it's my own hands. I'm suffocating myself. I'm trying to stop myself from screaming. I want it to end. I want to die. I can't live this way.

"Brianna, sweetheart please let me in. I'm not mad at you. Please.."

Demi's cries from outside the door only heighten my anxiety and cause me to tighten my hands around my neck.

"Do it. Cut off all oxygen to your lungs. What do you need to breathe for anyway?"

Go away.

"Tighter, rougher, choke! Choke! CHOKE!"

"Stop it!" I scream out as my hands grasp the sides of my head.

"Brianna!! Open up!"

I don't hesitate any longer and shakily reach for the lock on the door, allowing Demi inside. I'm too scared now. They're screaming too loud. It's all too loud.

"Brianna..." Demi whispers before lifting me onto her lap, cuddling me into her chest as my head lays in the crook of her neck.

"It's too loud Demi, I can't breathe it's too loud" I whimper, clutching onto my sister like she's my saving grace.

"I know sweetheart, I know. I'm here. I've got you. Shh, just breathe"

I close my eyes as the motion of Demi's fingers running through my hair helps my tense body to slowly relax until I can feel myself drifting off to sleep.

Demi's POV

I'm not even thinking about moving right now. Not one muscle. Brianna eventually fell asleep in my arms and I'm honestly too scared to move in case she wakes up and has another episode. That was terrifying - seeing her breaking like that. I don't think I can handle to watch that again. I felt so helpless; I still do.

All I know is that she's going to the doctors first thing tomorrow. Whoever damaged my sister and steal her innocence deserves to rot in some jail, it makes me sick to my stomach. What's worse is that I knew what happened, I just didn't know it was Brianna.

After another hour of sitting on the bathroom floor, I decide to try and carry Brianna into bed. It wasn't hard, she barely weighs a thing. That's something else that worries me; her physical health. It's more than obvious that her mental health isn't in good shape, but neither is her physical health. I can see her bones sticking out. Brianna..

After gently laying her down on the bed, I quickly cuddle in behind her with my arm wrapped protectively around her waist.

"You're safe now sweetheart" I whisper, kissing the side of her head before drifting off to sleep myself.

Brianna's POV

I wake up to someone shaking me lightly. Immediately, my mind floods with memories of last night and I can feel my anxiety already starting to rise. Oh God, Demi knows. Fuck.

"Breathe sweetie, in and out"

My eyes follow the sound of the voice and I'm met with Demi's soft expression. She looks tired. I've exhausted her.

"I'm sorry" I manage to choke out before the lump forms in my throat, practically closing off my airway.

"You have nothing to apologize for. It's okay. But Bri, I have to take you to the doctor to make sure everything is okay.."

The mention of the doctor causes my body to tense, I feel nauseous.

"No, please Demi no. I'm fine, see" I exclaim, my voice cracking as I force a smile on my face.

Demi looks at me sympathetically while rubbing her hand up and down my back.

"We both know that isn't true. And you're bleeding Bri, I'm sorry but you don't have a choice" she sighs before lightly kissing my forehead and leaving me to get ready.

It's bizarre. You'd think that after finding out that the person I've been talking to online for months and who knows my deepest secrets is actually my sister that I'd be pissed, but I'm not. It feels like a weight's been lifted off my shoulders - kind of. I don't have to hide, at least not from her. I still need to hide from my parents and other sisters, but it feels reassuring to know that I can take a break from the façade with Demi.

After a small mental pep talk, I force myself out of bed and grab a pair of black leggings, underwear, a sports bra and hoodie then quickly throw them on. I don't give a shit about my appearance today.

Demi's already sitting at the breakfast table once I finally emerge from upstairs. There are two bowls of cereal, one in front of her and one for me.

"Where's everyone else?" I ask cautiously,internally praying that they never heard my breakdown last night.

"I sent them out for the day to Disney. Maddie can't get enough of the place even though we just visited" she laughed lightly, "and I want us to have the day alone together"

I smile slightly at my sister before wearily sitting down, being faced with the bowl of calories.

"Sweetheart, it's just All Bran. It's healthy, I promise you" Demi says softly before placing her free hand over mine for comfort.

"Demi, I really can't stomach this right now.. I'm too nervous" I reply, looking over at her with broken eyes.

I'm not even trying to get out of eating. I genuinely can't eat. The thought of what could happen today makes my stomach twist. I'm terrified.

Before I know it, my face is buried into my hands as the sobs rattle through my body.

"I'll be there for you the entire time. I will not let anyone hurt you Brianna, I promise you. You've got this baby girl"

The strength and certainty in Demi's voice gives me goosebumps. I know she's telling the truth, but it doesn't make the inevitable any less scary.

"Lets just get this over with" I sigh, pushing myself up from the breakfast table and heading for the door.

I can do this.. I think.