Feel ---- Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugo ---- [BOOK 2]

29 - Trigger

Todoroki's POV:

A few days passed and things only got worse. Katsuki hadn't woken up yet, and the doctors didn't seem to think he would. Aizawa helped me a lot, and stopped me from doing stupid things whenever he could. But he couldn't be there all the time. Especially since I couldn't stand to be in the hospital room. I wanted to stay by his side, I really did. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't stand to look at him like that. He looked like he was in pain constantly, even though he wasn't even conscious.  He can't even breathe on his own. I can't stand it.

I went to the hospital every day, but I was usually late. I had been drinking a lot more, and taking a lot of pills lately. I was staying up all night high and wasted, and then spending all day at the hospital. I hadn't slept in days, with the exceptions of passing out from drug use. Touya was helping me too, but mainly with distractions. He gave me some of the medications that he takes, and they helped a little bit, but nothing was enough.

I had started cutting again. I knew that Katsuki would be disappointed and angry if he knew, but he wasn't here to stop me. I wasn't sure how to feel anymore. I was angry, and sad, and terrified, and I didn't know what else to do but cut. It was all that I had ever known. Katsuki helped me more than anyone, but he's not here now. And I can't do anything about that.

Touya's POV:

I walked into the bar and immediately felt Shigaraki's eyes on me.

"Oh hey, you're back." He said, in his usual raspy voice.

"You don't sound to glad to see me."

"Oh trust me I'm not. But the boss wants to talk to you."

He gestured to a small laptop on the counter with the screen mostly blacked out.

So he heard

Fuck

I can't today

I can't

I looked down at my hands, still bloody from before.

I didn't even get to wash them yet

I rolled my eyes and sat in front of the laptop, my arms resting on the table. I went to speak, but nothing came out.

"Dabi." He said, an immediate tone of anger in his voice.

"Hm?" I asked, trying to sound as carefree as possible.

"You did it again. You failed your mission and caused us trouble. Now we have to lay low again, all because YOU decided to go and kill the wrong fucking guy."

"I-I... You... You don't get it... He.... He didn't look that way before I killed him, I swear. H-He was a different person, I mean he still wasn't the right guy, but it was him I swear!!!"

"Well who did you think you were killing?"

I sighed.

"You won't get it."

It was him

I swear

You should be thanking me

I almost took out a high threat to us

Top hero, Endeavor

I almost had him

He was right there

"That's all you have to say? Listen, if you keep doing this then I will assume you are not reliable, and therefore have no business rendevousing with The League. Next time, you're done. Got that?"