Feel ---- Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugo ---- [BOOK 2]

44 - Understand

Todoroki's POV:

I woke up with a grueling headache overwhelming my senses, along with a sharp pain in my stomach. I slowly opened my eyes, but I couldn't see very well. I tried to sit up, grunting in pain as someone pushed me gently back down.

"Don't try to get up, idiot."

I was too tired to fully recognize the voice at first, but after a few seconds my body shot up.

Bakugo?

My vision adjusted and I saw Bakugo sitting in a chair next to my bed, a doctor standing a few feet behind him. Before I could react, I cringed in pain. My stomach growled violently and my head pounded.

"Idiot, I told you not to sit up yet damnit!!!" He yelled.

"Bakugo, we agreed that there would be no yelling involved. Technically you shouldn't even be here, so try to have a little respect." The doctor said, looking at Bakugo sternly.

"I know I know, I just..." He trailed off, sighing. "Todoroki you need to eat something. H-Here."

He put a plate of food in front of me, and I scooted back against the bed frame slowly. I picked up the chopsticks and began picking at the noodles on the side.

"Thank you. I'm sorry if I worried you." I said weakly, taking small bites.

"Tch. It's fine. Just fucking eat, okay? You really need to..." He looked away, almost as if he was sad.

Damnit

I'm such an idiot

Why'd I have to panic then?

And then passing out too?

I'm so fucking stupid

I looked at his expression, trying to read what was going through his head. He seemed annoyed as usual, but he was getting worse at hiding his inner turmoil. He seemed sad and frustrated, maybe even anxious. To anyone else it would be difficult to see.

But I know him better than anyone at this point.

I continued picking at my food, but it was becoming difficult to eat much of anything. Even though I was practically starving, every bite made my stomach churn. I wanted to puke, but I knew I had to eat for Bakugo's sake.

I hadn't eaten anything all week, and barely anything in the months before that as well. Ever since Bakugo attempted, my eating and sleeping habits had basically gone to hell.

"B-Bakugo..." I started, even though I didn't exactly know what I wanted to say.

I just wanted to talk to him.

"H-How are you?" I asked, slightly nervous.

It was such a simple question, and yet one of the most difficult ones to answer. I saw his expression falter and his lip quiver ever so slightly. He coughed a bit, and avoiding looking at me.

"I'm alright." He said, practically forcing the words out. "And by the way, you can call me Katsuki again. I'm sorry if I..."

He trailed off again, seemingly not knowing what to say. He sighed.

"I'm sorry if I made you... sad or whatever... I was just..." A few tears surfaced, but he ignored them and pushed them away.

It's fine

Take your time

I...

I understand...

It's okay...

It's okay to cry...

"I'm just a selfish asshole, okay? That's all there is to it. Nothing deeper than that. Don't read into it, okay?" He still refused to look at me, and a single tear rolled down his cheek. He wiped it away instantly, his hand a bit shaky. "I'm sorry I lied to you."