Inalight

Chapter 11- Caleb

HE is so fine

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I tried to take her hand she snatched it again for the tenth time. What was going on with her?! Every time I touched her or tried to kiss her she pulled away from me. I wanted to know what I did wrong and if it isn't my fault why was she acting like this.

"Ok what's going on? Every time I touch you, you act like I'm diseased." She looked everywhere else but me.

"I think we need to take a break."

"A break?!" I shouted trying to calm myself down we only just begun what went wrong. I was so damn angry.

"Really Ina. I thought you were going to give me a chance."

"I did and we are just so different characters and everything wise."

"Fuck you Ina absolutely bullshit. You know what. From now on I don't know you and you don't know me. We are done, this isn't a break. I tried and tried because I really like you. I think about you more than I should, always thinking of ways to make you happy, but you never cared about me or my feelings. I was a fool to you and I'm starting to see why Levi did what he did." She flinched, this wasn't me trying to hurt her, it was the truth and I wasn't done. "I'm sick and tired of you thinking you were never good enough, I guess in the end I should have realised it was you that never thought I was good enough for you." I backed away kicking the trash bin in my way. I was seething, I just wasn't enough.

My mind backtracked thank goodness I wasn't in too deep but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. When I was in a relationship I didn't think short term, I thought long term, I even thought of curly, blue or brown eyes baby we would have if we get there. It may sound creepy and I didn't dare tell her but Ina was potential in every single way. I skipped class I couldn't face her in history and found Chris at the back of the school with a packet of cigarettes in hand. I sat beside him, feeling a little sick.

"What's up man, girl trouble?" Chris lit a cigarette offering me one. I needed it, I wasn't a chain smoker but once in a while I did have it, it didn't help Chris was a smoker and sometimes made my cloths stink. I never did anything stronger no matter how some people saw me in school and I love keeping my brain cells.

"Not anymore, I'm single as a pringle." Chris laughed. It was Rayan's new saying.

"That bad?"

"I should have known she was like the rest of them, well it's too late to dwell. This is the last time I'm giving a fuck. I see why you sleep around." He shook his head.

"Advice you are one of the good one Julie and one of my best friend. From what I have seen of you two, Ina really liked you too and we know how blunt she is, so whatever is going on with her, maybe you need to pay closer attention to when it started, because Ina wouldn't have invested in you if she didn't think it was worth her time." I shrugged, Chris was stupidly right but I am too angry to care. If she trusted me she would have told me but I know Ina she was independent which I admired and need to be peel back layer by layer maybe I should have done that but it was too late . Damn.

"Any parties tonight or tomorrow?"

"Yeah Joe Hart is throwing one tonight luckily for you. A typical TGIF."

"Thank god, I'm working tomorrow night."

"Sam Hornet is throwing one after the game next week Friday."

"I'll be there for next week." I was glad, I can't and mustn't think tonight and Joe's parties were never short of drinks or food or girls not that I wanted to. I know myself and the girls in our school were desperate to the T and they would try anything drunk or sober.

I know I'm good-looking now but I wasn't always and I had my insecurities too, I wasn't some hot stuff that was cocky and can get every girl in bed, which I could if I was the sleeping around type.

When I was younger I was fat, with braces and acne and I wasn't lying. I was bullied and bullied nicknamed chubby Caleb no wonder I hated the name so much till I contemplated suicide, it was a shame to admit it and still made my stomach churn that I actually wrote a suicide letter and stood on a bridge but quickly got down when I realised I couldn't do it. My weight was top of anything, I still struggled but who didn't but I wasn't overwhelmed and I found a strange comfort over the years in running and football.

I remember starving myself took a toll one summer and no one other that JB knew I had spent my year in Italy being looked after by grandparents and my gymnast uncle, everyone thought I fancied a change and by the time I came back chubby Caleb was gone and replaced by jerk yet juicy Julie. That was why everyone thought I was mysterious and an ass when in reality, I was creating a layer not to get hurt because the same people that bullied me are trying to act like my friend I saw a bit of myself in Ina, a part that I wish would have stuck up against the bully because despite her insecurities, Ina never let anyone who wasn't worth it intimidated her. I wanted to let her understand looks were truly artificial because if they weren't why would I felt the pressure to change myself?

I mean I am still the same boy I was who loved watching football, eating KFC, baking brownies with Rayan minus the acne, weight and braces and if I hadn't changed would I ever been accepted but now I didn't care about acceptance because in a few years I'm never going to see half of these brain dead people, all I want is to be happy like my parents accepting each other's flaw regardless of their differences. Ina secretly motivated me. Truthfully Ina shone.

"I'll be there." Chris smoked some more and Levi joined us it was still awkward.

"I want to apologise to you man, I shouldn't have done it, it was horrible but I just wanted to show Ina wasn't that but I get it, she is your girl-"

"Not anymore." He looked surprised.

"Like I said I'm sorry. A girl shouldn't come between us like that we've been friends for too long." I nodded he was right. Ina was banned from our lives now but I couldn't help feeling heartbroken, despite her short time in my life she has made an impact.

"You are right." We shook hands laughing.

"Man I have missed you and I'm glad we talked I would hate to lose my friendship over nothing." Levi said. "She isn't worth it." I sighed.

"You are right she isn't."