This Was Not the Plan (gxg)

Chapter 10

Nick had been devastated by me being grounded. The boy really loved hanging out. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed his company, but I was sort of thankful for having to take a break. I hadn't realized how exhausting dating someone was. The books and movies never warn you about giving up all your free time. 

With what little free time I had, I spent every second thinking about the night I had spent with Kendall. I couldn't look at Nick without an overwhelming amount of guilt filling my lungs. I was so sick of feeling ashamed when I really hadn't done anything wrong. Even still, every time the memory of her lips on my cheek appeared, I lost my appetite and my cheeks burned red. I wanted desperately to talk to her and find out if she remembered anything, from the kiss on my cheek to spooning me as she fell asleep. I knew I couldn't though. She would either deny it, blackmail me, or brush it off as a drunken mistake.

The word left a bitter taste in my mouth. Mistake. I hated the idea that a drunken blunder is all it was. I wanted it to mean something more, but what? Friendship? Reagan had never kissed me on the cheek before. And when we cuddled, I never felt as secure as when Kendall had her arms around my waist. I tried imagining how to start a conversation with her about it a hundred times. What would I even say? 'Hey Kendall, remember when you kissed my cheek? That was kind of weird right?'. Stupid. I could just picture her dumb beautiful caramel eyes rolling at me. Did I call her eyes beautiful? What was wrong with me?

While I was having an internal meltdown, Reagan was busy grieving over the loss of her dear Wesley. He had officially returned home to Montana, and Reagan was beside herself. I hadn't seen her that distraught over a boy since the summer her first lover dumped her just minutes after swiping her virginity. I felt for her. It's hard being in a honeymoon stage and then having to say goodbye. As sad as I was to see her hurting, though, I was relieved she had time to step back. The party really opened my eyes as to how much she cared about him, and how quickly she was falling. I only hoped that Wesley would prove me wrong and be more invested in her than he seemed. The last thing I wanted was to have to pick up the pieces after she trusted her heart with another douchebag.

Speaking of which, Kendall and Zach seemed to have made up. The first Monday back, they were hand in hand – or rather – face on face. Their public displays of affection had become far more frequent. That or I had never noticed how often they made out on school grounds. I swear I even saw her smile at him – which was completely unheard of.

"Earth to Ronnie," Reagan pulled me from my thoughts, throwing a fry at my face.

"Ew, Reagan!" I grimaced as I fished the fry out of my hair.

"You were zoning out again! I had to!" she defended herself.

"What has you so lost in thought?" Nick asked as he threw his arm over my shoulder.

"Oh, nothing really," I laughed nervously, praying he wouldn't press further.

Reagan had her eyes narrowed at me, trying to read my expression. I ducked my head and took a bite of my French fries.

"Your boyfriend asked you a question." She informed me with an annoyed tone.

"Sorry, what was it?" I apologized as I turned to give Nick my attention.

"It's fine," he said with a bright smile, "I was just asking if you would like to go to homecoming with me."

All my thoughts about Kendall dissipated and were replaced with excitement.

"Of course I'll go to homecoming with you!" I smiled widely.

I hadn't even thought about all the school events he and I would get to go to. I had always wished to have a date for at least one of my high school dances. If things continue to go well, I might have a date for my first prom too. By then my guilt should be gone, right?