Sweet Family Of War - Book 7

Maine

LENA POV

As I run the hot comb through my hair, I realize that it's gotten thinner looking, and if I'm honest I'm scared. Standing in my old room in my parent's house, my stomach is twisting in knots, for why I allowed me and Stef to connect before I knew I was leaving is beyond me. I knew better, and I knew it would hurt her. Yet I had selfishly allowed myself to be touched by her and to be loved as much as I know she hates me even more right now. And I don't blame her.

But the truth is, I love her, and I don't know how to stop. I should have been honest with her about so many things including the fact that I've been having nose bleeds, losing my hair and have various bruises on my body when I don't do any physical labor whatsoever. I've been extremely tired as well, to the point I wanted to go off of my meds for my depression, but I was told that it wouldn't be wise just yet.

I realize that being back here isn't exactly ideal, especially after seeing Corey appearance this morning and how him and Frankie were acting rudley. It was something I had no time to address before leaving this morning and something Stef completely ignored. I knew why and I knew it was payback for me saying the kids were mine.

Truth was I didn't really mean it when I said that because our kids were ours and I knew Corey and Frankie adored Stef. They did and I loved Callie so much and always had. I don't know, I was saying alot of stupid things out of hurt, because honestly I was upset with Stef and myself.

I'd deal with it fully when I got back, and I'd be sure to call and check in when I knew the kids were home tonight. But this trip was not all fun and games. It wasn't fun at all for another reason I was here was because my mother insisted I come and see Dr. Smith in the city, and since I am this way, I had asked my dad to help me put the Adams family house on the market.

The house was supposed to be mine and what I lived in to raise our family, and for some reason or another, I just couldn't bring myself to live here even if the location was ideal, the house was gorgeous and it was on the water. But I needed the money once and for all and I wanted to be done with this. It would really provide a cushion for me, even if I was very nervous about handling money again, I needed it. Especially since I quit my job yesterday and had not told a soul.

I couldn't though. I couldn't tell anyone because who would I tell. Juluis would most likely blab and run his mouth to Stef and it was just so awkward with me and Tess now that there was no way I was going to say anything. It was bad enough we were hiding that Stef and I were over so why would I tell either of them this. I felt we weren't even very close and if Stef did move out I'd have not one friend left. Maybe Gary and Marty but I wasn't sure, and knew I needed to make possibley my own set of friends for I had a feeling everyone would side with Stef.

"Honey, are you ok?" I hear my mother on the other side of the door as I put my hot comb down and walk over to the door opening it.

"Hi Mom, yes I'm fine. Was just fixing up my hair and unpacking. Long flight." I say as she walks in and takes a seat on my bed.

"Well, I called Stef." She says as I turn around in horror.

"What? Why? I would have called her to tell her I got here, Mom!"

"She didn't sound like herself. I mean she was courteous as always, very sweet, but she didn't sound like herself." My mom ignores my statement as she sits on the end of the bed.

"She's fine, but why did you call her?"

"I call Stef from time to time, honey, to check on her. Just like I call you. I know she doesn't have any relationship with her mother so I just like to see how she is. Same with Julius I call him too. Does that bother you?"

"No, Mom. Not at all. Why should it?" I grow a tad defensive as I continue to fix my hair trying to not look at my mom in the mirror.

"Lena, is something going on with you and Stef? And why are you back to this again? Burning your hair with a hot comb? I mean, really. Your curls! I love them!"

"Like what, mother? What's going on with me and Stef?" I'm annoyed because I forgot how prying my mom can get. "And it's MY hair? What does it matter how I fix it?"

"Like problems?" She replies now ignoring my defensiveness about my hair as I grit my teeth.

"No. Why would we have problems? We've been married almost 2 years. We're fine," I laugh awkwardly as I set the hot comb down and grab my jewelry bag.

"Because you haven't mentioned her since you got here. Not one word."

"Mom, I just got here what do you want me to say? I didn't get a chance to mention her. But, I do need to call home and check on the kids. Let's see what time is it there." I say looking at my watch as my mother clears her throat.

"This is why you are having issues, honey. You block everything and stuff it down. You always have been one to sit in denial until the cows come home, and it's never ever served you, honey. That is not going to solve your marriage problems."

"Mom, we don't have any problems because we aren't married." I spit out as she looks at me worried. "I mean not legally, anyway."

"That's not something to keep saying. Legally or not you had a ceremony, you said vows, you have a family and..."

"And we are done, Mom! Okay! Stef and I...we broke up. We are separated. Okay? I mean do you feel better that you know everything now? We aren't good together, and it got really bad, toxic even and it's better this way. Now I need to call home and check on my kids. Please, Mom, just leave it be." I say leaving the room as my mother seems to be in shock at what I just told her. I didn't plan on telling her that at all but I did and the cat was out of the bag.

"Lena Elizabeth! Stop right now!" My mom finally snaps out of it and is on my tail as I make it to the kitchen and pull the phone off the wall as she snatches it from me and hangs it back up.

"I'm not a kid, Mother! Please!" I glare hard at her as I try to get the phone, but she moves to stand in the way where I can't which only annoys me further. Why did I think coming here was a good idea anyway? I hate how intuitive my mom has always been!

"Our conversation is NOT over by any means, Lena. And at what point are you going to stop running from all of your problems? I'd love to know this, my child, because you've been doing it close to 40 years, and it's high time you grew up!"

At this, hot tears come to my eyes as I feel myself shutting down big time as this is not what I had in mind being here with my parents. "Mom, please...stop...."

"Come here, honey," She takes my hand softly in hers as tears are flowing down my face big time, and I can't stop them. "I feel as if this is something that can be worked through. You love Stef still?"

"It doesn't matter! You wouldn't get it, okay? Yes, I love her, but too much damage has been done, and I don't even think she likes me anymore! She has said some pretty awful things to me, and I can't get over them, okay? I just can't!"

"Oh, my darling, I know you, and I know that it can't all be on Stef. Come here....please," she says in a softer tone as I allow her to walk with me to the couch where she holds me and I cry my eyes out more than I have in some time, for it was true. I still love Stef, but I don't see anything getting better. Maybe I was better off alone.