Sweet Family Of War - Book 7

To San Bernardino

LENA POV

I had to admit it was nice to get out of our house together for Stef and I had left this morning a few hours after she had gotten home from work to head up to San Bernadino. We were going to surprise the kids and planned to spend a few days with them before we headed to the retreat, something we were both very nervous about.

But Stef was right, if we were going to work and fight for this marriage and this family and relationship we had to really dive in and it would get ugly and even more difficult. Glancing out the window of our car, as we head onto the parkway Stef lights a smoke as I turn to look at her profile.

She really was still so beautiful in my eyes as it was hard to believe that just a few days ago I was throwing her out of the house and screaming in her face. Hell, I had a good reason, we both knew that as she catches me staring and smiles at me.

"You okay? Hungry?"

"No, I'm okay." I answer rather shyly as she tosses her smoke out the window and reaches for my hand which I take. "Its nice to get away, to get out of the house."

"I agree. I feel we are doing the right thing, Len. Do you plan on doing some paintings up there?" She smiles as I shrug a bit even if I promised Frankie I would.

"Oh um, maybe."

"You should. Maybe you can show me how. I mean I'm not very artistic like at all but I'd love to try." She smiles softly at me as she pulls into the fast lane.

"You are artistic. You sing so beautifully, Stef. I have always loved your voice from the first time I heard you singing in your garden on that base."

"That's really nice of you to say. But um, everything always points back there huh?"

"That's where we met," I say matter-of-factly as she squeezes my hand and clears her throat.

"I didn't drink once you came into my life. I mean I was at peace actually once Mike left for Vietnam, and well, I actually stopped sneaking gin once he was gone," she admits as I look at her.

"We shared some a few times, though. Remember when Julius came over and we played cards? He even brought us cigarettes and we felt so tough," I laugh as she joins me.

"Well, yes, but that was...I wasn't self medicating when we drank then. There or at Gary and Marty's for that matter."

I nod as I feel her squeeze my hand, and I look out the window as I try to really look back at everything in our relationship, and honestly, I have no idea what was wrong between us. We love each other, and from just about the beginning, I was drawn to her.

Was I so blind that I didn't realize that she drank when stressed? Why didn't I see it as a problem? But the truth of the matter was, I didn't really notice it until Frank, Jr. had died. That's when I would dispose of empty gin bottles every morning before the kids woke up, and that's when I was so busy trying to be a good housewife.

"But you do still want to go on this retreat, yes?" I hear her ask as I turn to look at her.

"Yes. You thought I didn't?"

She looks at me as she turns her turn signal on and gets off at an exit. "I was just checking, sweetness. I don't want you doing something you'll regret, and I don't want you feeling you're being forced into this. I'd rather you be honest than miserable."

"I am being honest," I say softly as she nods and pulls over to an all too familiar place, one where I never thought I'd see again.

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"God, this place feels the same. Are you sure we shouldn't just go straight to the house?" I ask looking right at Stef as we had just gotten to the McDonald's where Julius had taken us so many moons ago when we were on the way to that Creedence Clearwater concert.