Sweet Family Of War - Book 7

Cooking Dinner

LENA POV

It had been a long time since I had cooked dinner for me and Stef but after our long talk on the pier I decided it might be a nice thing. YES, I was still very much angry and hurt with her and well I knew deep inside it had not all been on her. It really had not and I had blamed her for years and years but at the same time I had no idea how upset I really had been about it.

As she was out running errands now I planned on cooking lasagna which I knew was her favorite. I even decided to bake cherry tarts, which I knew weren't as good as hers but I'd try and had gotten the recipe from Frankie earlier. No it wasn't a romantic dinner at all, but maybe us just well, trying to enjoy each other's company as I had cleaned up the home a bit and put Stef's clothing back into our room.

Maybe that night needed to happen. Maybe I needed to get that damn angry to tell her how I felt about everything and honestly I didn't know what else I was feeling or what else I had stuffed down in my body all these years. But, Tess had hit many damn nerves and her words didn't sit well with me especially the fact that it was possible I could lose Stef?

Did I feel bad for smacking Tess? Partly but not as much as I should because she had pissed me the hell off. God did she ever, and if I thought long and hard about it I had loved Tess. She was like a big sister to me, and even if I was angry with Stef for everything as well, Tess had broken a friendship code and she did it again. I don't know if I should ever approach her again in life but for me that friendship was dead and I didn't think it would ever be what it once was. Truthfully it had never been what it was on base because I always harbored a bit of resentment and anger towards her after I found out she slept with Stef.

Maybe I had harbored some for Stef too and had ignored it because I loved her, and wanted a life with her and wanted her to be a mother to Frankie and Corey. Maybe I had dismissed it until it boiled over. Maybe? I didn't know and my mind was still wondering if we should go on this retreat or not because could it make things worse? Would things come out that I didn't want to even more?

I wasn't sure but as I start to make the pasta for the lasagna, I layer it with extra meat and vegetables like Stef likes as I light a candle and pour a glass of sparkling water. I even play some of my old records which I haven't done in forever as I toss my food in the oven and hear Stef come in through the front door.

"Goodness, what smell so good in here?" She says smiling as I place the tarts in the oven as well as she puts her keys down walking over to me.

"Just made dinner. Figured we could maybe eat together before you head to work?"

"Yeah? I mean I was just gonna grab McDonald's but goodness, this looks amazing. Lena, you didn't have to do all of this." The smile remains on her face as she grabs a glass of water and I shrug. "I mean I thought maybe you were still rather ticked off at me about what I said at the pier."

"I was." I say now facing her. "I mean I was really ticked off, but, it's true. Putting aside my emotions it's true because  it wasn't all on you. I cut you out of my life and well didn't want anyone to know what I was doing. I think because it was so hard. Because I wanted to be with you so badly, even when I decided to stay with Will and help take care of him I thought of only you. And I wanted you to be the one to help me with Frankie. And it was just easier to pretend none of what we had existed. And I didn't realize how much I may have hurt you when I did that as well."

"You did, love. It hurt very badly." Stef says softly as I swallow hard as I see the sadness grow on her face.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you for doing that Stef. And I don't think I even realized that I did. And I just can't remain mad forever at..at you. I mean, I'm more hurt than anything because from the beginning I thought our love would stand the test of time, but I'm mad more at myself for...not fighting for us. For taking you for granted," I say as I quickly wipe a tear from my eyes and turning to grab the lasagna dish to bring to the table, but Stef is quick to come over to me as she wraps her arms around me from behind.