Sweet Family Of War - Book 7

Can We Talk?

STEF POV

"May I come in? I ask Frankie as I stand in her doorway and see her drawing on her pad. She shrugs her shoulders as I take a seat on the bed beside her watching her draw what seems to be New York City. "You miss the city, huh baby?"

"No." She lies shading in a building as I gently run my fingers through her long curls. I missed this little girl, more than anything and I hated how far apart her and I were considering how long it took us to get there.

"Yeah, could have fooled me, babe. You know what I miss about New York that I don't have here? Our apartment." She looks at me now confused as I smile at her. "It's true. I mean it was small but we made it work for the short amount of time. We had fun there, yes?"

"I guess."

"Yeah, you guess, huh. You and I got along and it was where you and I talked a lot. You came to visit and never left. I get homesick too, babe.  It was the longest place I lived, it had some bad memories but you made my time there better." I admit as she looks at me again right in my eyes as if she doesn't believe me. And that alone makes me kinda sad.

"I don't make any place better. Or things better for anyone." She spouts off with so much venom it makes my stomach hurt.

"Who told you that?"

"It's obvious. Isn't it? I mean I'm the target of most every adult around."

I gently grab her pencil forcing her to put it down as I hold her hand rubbing it, my heart hurting so much from all of this.

"Remember when we took that first walk on the beach together many moons ago?"

"After Uncle Ryan died," she whispers as I bring her hand to my mouth and kiss it softly.

"Yes. And I told you to call me if you needed to talk. You didn't but instead you visited me and you trusted me with things you told me.  And that all meant a very good deal to me." I gently cup her cheek forcing her to look into my eyes as I can see hers are glassy.

"Those talks we had honey, they were my favorite. I am sad that we don't have them anymore. I'm not a mean person, Frankie. And it seems all I try to do is reason with you now, and that's not what I want. And, maybe I go about it all wrong honey."

"You threw me out. That hurt. You used to ask me how I felt, when no one asked me ever. Only you did, and that's why I felt safe enough to talk to you." She admits as tears now fill my eyes and I grab her hand again.

"I am sorry. I am sorry that I didn't and haven't asked you. I am sorry I hurt you by throwing you out, and I know I was wrong to do that. I was just..."

"And I was scared." She cuts me off as she  gets up now and goes to look out her window. "I was scared when my mother disappeared on us. We only had you left.  And then I was scared something would happen to you because you told me you were going to AA and stuff. What then? What if you crashed into a car or something because of that? Huh? What? We'd have no one left!"

I can hear the tears in her voice as I feel mine running down my face as I try my best to just listen to what she has to say. Something I have not done in a very long time.

"I'm not upset on purpose at her...Lena, you know," she looks at me briefly as she quickly wipes her eyes then looks away again. "But do you get that it's scary for me? Do you get that Mom? Me and Corey? Our Dad left and died. He never came back! Lena got sick and left, and then...it was scary. I can't just not be scared and just believe her and think it's ok. I hate it here. I hate it so much. I can't be here anymore!"

Tears roll down my eyes now as I don't even know what to say to her. I feel so very badly as she won't step near me or even look at me as I see her slender shoulders shake and she wipes her eyes. I hate it that she addresses her own mother by her first name, and while normally I'd address that immediately, right now, all I can do is sit here in silence.