To Have & To Hold

The Short Straw

Marie's POV: 

It was the day of the baby shower, Halle's friends had stopped by and showered my daughter with gifts. As everyone sat down in the living room, sipping champagne except me, and raving about how excited they were to meet the new installment to the family. Halle and i had banded together to decorate the house, specifically for a baby shower. The rest of the day, was filled with opening baby gifts, playing baby games, and visiting the baby room down the hall. 

While Halle was showing her friends the nursery room, for the baby, i hung back, standing near the snack bar Halle and i made. I noticed how every time i got nervous about things, it usually caused me to stress eat. Which in my opinion was no way good for the baby. "So, how are you doing these days?" Alison asked, as she walked over to me at the bar. "In desperate need of therapy" i said, hoping she would take it as a joke, but my tone didn't fool her. 

"Don't you still talk to your therapist?" Alison asked, as i swallowed the cookie i was chewing. "Yeah.. but it's complicated" i said, as Alison was confused. But i shrug it off, until Alison was pulling me into the kitchen. "Marie, what the hell is going on with you?" she asked, catching me in a lie is what it seemed. "I can always tell when something is bothering you, and even when you're hiding something. So spill it!" Alison said, as i looked around noticing Halle's friends had come back from the nursery room into the living room. 

"Alison i can't.." i said, looking back over at her, as she had followed my gaze before, until meeting my eyes. "...Is this about Drew?" she asked, assuming that was why i couldn't say it out loud. She then started pacing the room, as she thought some more about the topic. "Alison just drop it.." i said, hoping Halle didn't find her way into the kitchen. "This definitely has something to do with Drew.. and possibly the baby. So why can't Halle know about it?" Alison asked, before her eyes widened. And so did mine, cause i knew she caught on. 

"YOU'VE HAD SEX" she yelled, some of the girls at the baby shower turned and looked to see what the shouting was all about. As i grabbed Alison's hand and took her down the hall with me. "It makes total sense! at the anniversary party, i kept on noticing how Drew was trying to avoid you and even Halle at times. You only do that when you feel guilty about something.." she said, as we stopped in the hall. "Give me all the details! i wanna know everything!" she said, as i shook my head. "There's nothing to tell.." i said, trying to keep our voices down. 

"Okay now that's bull shit" she said, putting her hands on her hips, before her eyes went to my stomach. She then gasped, "there's nothing to say because your body is already saying it!" she shouted, as i shushed her pulling her into my bedroom and closing the door. God, i hated how she could see right through me. I literally couldn't keep anything from Alison, no matter how hard i tried. It was a blessing and a curse. "Did the surrogacy ever actually work?" she asked. 

I just shook my head, trying not to rehash the past, as to what went down that night. Alison just took my hand, "Marie i am so sorry, that must of been traumatic. Why didn't you call me?" she asked, as we sat down on the bed together. And i just tell her everything, which felt great, for the first time in a long time, i was actually opening up to someone other than Drew again. And it felt great to feel a weight lift off my shoulders. 

After i was done spilling all my secrets, Alison was in shock. "Do you think i'm doing the right thing?" i asked, as Alison answered my question with a look. She started pacing the room, "Marie, you need to tell Halle the truth" she said, "but it would destroy everything her and Drew have built! and even what her and i have, our friendship!" i said. "Actions have consequences, and secrets Marie.. always have a way of coming out. And sometimes those consequences catch up to you. If you keep going down this road, it's just going to get worse. The longer you wait, the harder it will be" she said, as i shook my head. 

"Marie, you need to take responsibility for your actions, not just for you and Drew. But because it's the right thing to do. Especially for your child." Alison said, as i sighed. "I will after she's born" i said, as Alison shook her head. "No, you shouldn't wait that long.." she said, which i knew but- there was then a knock at the door. "Marie?" Halle asked, as she opened the door. "Hey.." i said, as she sighed of relief. "There you are! we've been looking all over for you, is everything okay?" she asked, as i'm guess there must be a problem because of the lingering looks on our faces. 

"I just needed to catch up with Alison real quick.." i said, as she nodded. "Hey, it's nice to meet you, and thanks for inviting me to your anniversary party" she said, as she shook Halle's hand in front of me. "Oh, it's no problem. I know how much you mean to Marie, and i hated that i was keeping her away from her family and friends. I don't intend for this to be like house arrest, i'm just trying to protect me and my husband's privacy, towards this whole thing." she said, as she shook her hand. "I completely understand" Alison said, as i smiled. 

The shower than came to a close, as the baby room was filled with tons of gifts and toys. As Halle and i said goodbye to the last couple of her friends. Drew walked into the room, i placed my hands on my stomach for comfort as Drew's eyes found mine. But only for a split second, they then traveled behind me. As they met Halle's. "Babe, you missed it! everything was perfect" she said, walking over to him in the kitchen and placing her arms around him. "I'm glad it was.. but i'm here now.." he said, as she smiled. "Yes you are" she whispered, as they kissed. 

He then whispers in her ear, as she chuckles before lifting her gracefully onto the kitchen island. Yep, that's my cue to leave. I finished cleaning up the trash from the party, as i disappeared down the hall and made it back to my bedroom. Grabbed my headphones and listened to some music as i played my TV in the background. Not wanting to hear any sound that's about to come out of that kitchen. This was what i wanted though, i wanted Drew to go back to his wife. To give her the husband she deserves. So why did i keep on feeling this aching emotion of regret?

I hadn't let myself remember the night we slept together for the first time, of course a part of me was always replaying it on a loop in my mind. But i didn't wanna lose myself in the memory of it all. Cause i knew if i did, i could never give Drew back to his wife. 

Not when his soul was meant for mine.