Hit Me //Bellarke//

Chapter 12

Bellamy found he couldn't sleep that night. He tossed and turned on his makeshift bed, his mind on overdrive. He hadn't been able to save Charlotte, he hasn't been able to protect her. What if I do the same with Octavia? He pushed those horrible thoughts far from his mind. Bellamy wouldn't let anything happen to her. My sister, my responsibility.

He could have let Murphy kill Clarke, her parents were dead and so was the information they wanted him to get. He would have to kill her for a lost cause. And with that thought he grabbed the half empty whiskey bottle that him and the princess had found and stumbled outside.

The air was cool, the wind stinging his eyes. The dark figures of guards could be made out around the wall and the few teens could be seen sleeping by the dying embers of the fires.

Bellamy leaned against a tree taking a swig of the sharp liquid. He hoped there was enough to make him forget for the night.

He heard a scream suddenly, coming from the drop ship. Clarke, he remembered and he quickly jogged over, the bottle forgotten in the dirt. He clutched his knife as he cautiously made his way up the ramp, tearing the curtains aside. "Clarke," he called out into the darkness. "Where are you?"
His footsteps were the only sound besides her whimpers. What if somebody had their hands on her... oh I'll kill them.
"Clarke!" he shouted scrambling for the light switch. "Hang on!"

But as light enveloped the drop ship he found no attacker with a scared girl trying to fight back, he saw only Clarke, curled in a ball on the floor, her body shaking. Incoherent mumbles came from her lips but her eyes remained closed, yet only one thing could cause such terror in one's sleep. She gets them too.

It was when she started to cry out that he dropped his knife and instantly moved beside her, his hand on the small of her back. She shot awake with a gasp, then turned away when she noticed him but he saw the tears glistening in her eyes. She rubbed her face. "What are you doing here?" she snapped.
"I heard your screams," he whispered. " I got scared, and ran in to find y-you... to find you like this."
"Well you shouldn't have seen me like this," Clarke said through gritted teeth.

"It's okay, I get them too, nightmares I mean." Why am I telling her this? he thought. She almost turned her head back to him but stopped. "They're worse than nightmares, they're a smaller version of hell that toils within the depths of my mind."
They were silent for a moment and Bellamy took his hand off her back, his skin feeling cold at the the sudden absence of heat.

"Why were you up so late?" Clarke asked. He took a breath, "Same reason as you. I couldn't sleep, didn't want to have to face the horrors again, I didn't want to see Charlotte on that cliff again."
"What are your nightmares about?"

You, he wanted to say.

"Octavia being taken, but this time her not surviving. I dream of what I've done, of what my mother would think of me."
"I think she would be proud," Clarke whispered.
He looked back at her to find her already looking. "I think your mother would be proud too."

She looked down. "And yet every night her eyes hold only horror. I don't k-know what I've d-done wrong but she h-hates me for i-it." Her voice broke.

"Are you okay?"
"Yes."
"Don't lie to me."
"No."
"Is there anything I can do to help."

Her back stiffened and there was a moment of silence as she thought. She turned to look at him, her blue eyes still welling with tears. "Hold me," she whispered. "Just h-hold me."

Hold me. The words echoed in his mind. Clarke Griffin trusted him to help her, she was allowing him to see her while weak.

Bellamy leaned against the medical table behind them before putting his arms around her. She didn't seem to notice the stiff barrier between them and curled up against him, laying her head on his chest.

He'd never held a girl before, he had always left their beds at the crack of dawn before he could learn their names. Even on earth, his relationships were based on one night stands and short lasting desire. But Clarke was different, and that scared him.

She had wrapped her hands around one of his arms, her hair spread across his chest like a golden curtain. Bellamy tried not to breathe in her scent, the scent of warm sunshine and herbs. The smell of rain that stuck to her hair. Otherwise he might do something stupid, he might start to fall in love.

Her chest started to shake then and he started to stroke her hair. "It's okay Clarke, you are allowed to cry."
He felt the tears on his shirt immediately. She shook and his heart heaved at the sound of her muffled sobs. "It is not your fault," she whispered.
Bellamy assumed she was talking about Charlotte and kept comforting her.

When her sobs quieted, and her breathing slowed, Bellamy looked down to find her asleep. She looked peaceful, as if nothing had ever happened and she had just fallen asleep in the arms of her lover.

What if I was her lover?

Bellamy shook away the thought, leaned down to kiss her forehead and laid down to fall asleep beside her.

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So did this chapter make up for my absence?

Finals can go *@);/;?)$&(/-* themselves.

Anyway I really liked writing the tender side of both Bellamy and Clarke but it made me really sad to have to write Clarke vulnerable, but hey it was a good moment, one that will soon gain power don't worry ;)

Soooo THANKS SOO DAMN MUCH FOR 5K ASDFGHHJKL!!!! thanks for all the votes and comments, please keep doing that, sorry for any mistakes, you might want to buy some tissues for future chapters (please don't kill me), have a wonderful morning/day/night and until next time.... may we meet again.