joke collection :) 2

jokes 12

*third grade*

chatnoob2: simplii! i made you a friendship bracelet

simplii: i don't like jewelry

chatnoob2: oh, that's okay, you don't have to wear it if you don't want-

simplii: no

simplii: i'll wear this forever.

*present*

crazypikachu: simplii! i made you a friendship bracelet

simplii: i don't like jewelry

crazypikachu: oh, that's okay, you don't have to wear it if you don't want-

simplii: no

simplii: i'll wear this forever

sob

«---«

noonoo, working as a mcd cashier: hello, can i take your order

GrandpaLolo: hi yes i want my childhood innocence back

noonoo: sir we don't sell-

GrandpaLolo: P L E A S E.

noonoo:

noonoo, sighing: does somebody here have a child they don't want

«---«

jackattack: it finally happened! one day the flight attendant asked, "is there a doctor here?" and i voluntarily raised my hand and said, "yes! yes!"

did tracheomy at 30,000 ft with a razor blade and a ballpoint pen. for good measure, i made sure the patient had as much comfort as possible and gave them a bag of peanuts mid-surgery.

he didn't make it, but wow, the thrill was amazing. currently thinking of doctor school now.

mugas: jackattack. i left you for ten minutes. TEN GODDAMN MINUTES.

«---«

simplii: what do you regret seeing most in your life, Itzza?

Itzza: look in the bathroom over the sink

simplii: *looks*

simplii: *sees mirror*

simplii: Itzza you son of a bi-

Itzza had already fled to Bangladesh with crazypikachu in jokes 8 (i actually went through the entire jokes collection to find that :,))

«---«

saltyNate: tell me a story, i'm bored

chatnoob2: uh, well, i was babysitting once, and i accidentally texted "the baby died" instead of "the baby monitor died". i have never gotten a call so fast in my life.

simplii: ...we need to fix your typos

«---«

kerns: you don't sound like you're doing homework

simplii: oh, what does it sound like, then? *happy faces*

kerns: crying.

«---«

mr. Person: everything that comes out of your mouth is stupid

mugas:

mugas: mr. Person

«---«

*doorbell rings*

simplii: yes?

kidnapper, holding jackattack and saltyNate: TAKE. TAKE THEM!!! TAKE THE BOYS WE DON'T WANT THEM ANYMORE!!!!!!!

simplii: WE DON'T WANT THEM EITHER

«---«

simplii: GrandpaLolo, are you free this friday?

GrandpaLolo: uh, yeah?

simplii: kerns, are you free this friday?

kerns: mhm

simplii: grEAT, cuz i'm not. enjoy your date!

>:)

«---«

kerns: simplii, if me and crazypikachu were drowning in a pool, who would you save?

simplii: i'd jump into the pool with you people so we'd all drown together :D

«---«

crazypikachu: mugas, if me and jackattack were drowning in a pool, who would you save?

jackattack: *pleading*

mugas: i'd rather save my time and effort.

«---«

TurtleKnight: i'm gonna get the soup!

chatnoob2: you're gonna burn your hand

*five minutes later*

TurtleKnight: you were wrong, i burned my entire body.

«---«

chatnoob2: so my dear friend called a knife a "people-opener"

simplii: am i wrong though

chatnoob2: you have a point there

«---«

TurtleKnight: didja know, jellyfish have survived 600,000 years without a brain

chatnoob2: well that's some hope for you

«---«

crazypikachu: in the end, we are all human beans

crazypikachu: and we shall all rice

crazypikachu: lettuce pray

crazypikachu: ramen.

kale: *wipes away a tear* lovely

«---«

mugas: can you turn on the lights

jackattack: no need, you are the only light of my world <3!

mugas: jack, i can't see shit

«---«

kerns: GrandpaLolo, i love you!

GrandpaLolo: e-eh?

kerns, sweating: y-you know! april fools! haha!

GrandpaLolo:

GrandpaLolo: kerns, april fools was yesterday

kerns: a h

«---«

crazypikachu: when an earthquake happens, all the coffins turn to maracas! right, simplii?

simplii: ????????????????????????no??????????????

crazypikachu: thank you so much for agreeing with me! now, let's try it!

simplii: crazypikachu, NO.

«---«

chatnoob2: there needs to be role whenever a book is being adapted into a movie called a book slapper

chatnoob2: their job would be to read the book, then to slap the director with it every time they say, "yeah, but what if..."

«---«

crazypikachu: *takes a breath*

OliveGarden: no.

«---«

panther, walking into the kitchen: is something burning?

adri: ah... it's just my love for tom holland <3!

panther: adri, the toaster is... burning....

«---«

ehehheehhehe it's like 1 am i need sleep but no no sleep sleep is bad

i have to get up at 630 am tmrw i'm screwed

ah well life goes on even if you're sleep deprived and feel like the walking dead.

don't follow my example and sleep early, children <3