An Angel's Tail

Chapter 27

One night, I was having trouble sleeping. I couldn't stop thinking about Kitty. I finally gave up trying to sleep, and sat up in bed, thinking to myself. Why was I feeling this way about her? What was this feeling? I remember having feelings for Jaden back in middle school, but they were nothing like this, nowhere near as strong. Then, I remembered that I was only thirteen at the time, and I didn't even really know Jaden. I admired him from a far... until I found out how he really felt about me. My feelings for him died after that night. There were a few other times during my teen years that I developed silly crushes on guys I thought were cute, but never acted on those feelings. I didn't really know the guys I was crushing on, and I never even had a relationship. The big difference here is, I knew Kitty very well, and as I got to know her even more, my feelings kept growing stronger and stronger, until I couldn't ignore them anymore. Nothing like that ever happened with my crushes. Well, I never even took the time to get to know them. After what happened with Jaden, I was too afraid to. So... were these feelings really what I thought they were, or would I ever develop feelings like this for a man? What the hell was going on with my heart?

I hurried off to the bathroom to answer the call of nature, hoping that I could maybe get back to sleep after. When I finished up and came out, I saw Honey emerging from her room.

"Hi, Sweetie," she whispered. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I whispered, "I was just using the bathroom.

"Well, I was just going to make myself a snack. You wanna join me?"

"Sure."

I followed Honey into the kitchen. She opened the fridge, and pulled out two drinks and a tub of dipping sauce. Then, she went to the pantry for a bag of Doritos. We tiptoed into the living room, and sat together on the couch, enjoying our snack.

"Sweetie, is everything okay?" Honey asked, concerned. "You seem like you were having trouble sleeping."

"I just have some stuff on my mind," I replied.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Well..." I hesitated.

"It's okay, Baby." She placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "You can tell me anything."

I took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to word what I was going to say. "Um... I, um... I think I might be bisexual."

Honey smiled. "Okay," she said sweetly.

"Yeah, I mean, 'cuz... I know I'm attracted to guys, but... I think I'm in love with Kitty."

Honey's smile grew. "Awww, well, you've been spending a lot of time with her."

"Yeah, and I've gotten to know so much about her, so many beautiful things about her. The more I get to know her, the more I really, really like her, like... really like her. Like, every time I'm with her, I have this desire to kiss her... on the lips, and every time she hugs me and holds me, I never want her to let go. I..." I wiped a few tears away. "I'm getting emotional just thinking about her and the amazing stories she's told me about her life and her dreams... and what an amazing and beautiful person she is. I just..." I couldn't keep myself from crying anymore. "I wanna melt in her arms, and her eyes... they're like angel eyes. Like... I can see so much beauty and love and kindness in them... and innocence yet so much wisdom. I don't know if I'm even making any sense."

"No, you're making perfect sense, Baby. I know those feelings very well. I feel them for Brad. I just wanna get lost in his beautiful eyes, and his arms feel like home to me. He's just... so special to me, and kissing him, it feels so natural and... right. Do you feel like you're home when you're in Kitty's arms?"

"Yeah. Like... when I'm with her, I feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be.

"That's how I feel when I'm with Brad, and when we're lying in bed together at night, I feel like I could stay there forever." She smiled reflectively. "He's my baby."

"Well, I mean, I've never slept with Kitty, but... I kinda want to." I blushed when I said that.

Honey giggled. "Are you gonna tell her how you feel?"

I sighed heavily. "God, I don't know. I mean... what if she doesn't feel the same about me? What if I end up ruining our friendship, and I lose her forever?"

Honey wrapped her arm around me. "Sweetheart, Kitty is the sweetest thing. She won't react the way Jaden did, and you will not ruin your friendship with her. You will never lose her. She cares about you so deeply. You wanna know something else? I think she has feelings for you, too."

"How can you tell?"

"The way she acts around you. She gets so giddy and giggly and bouncy when you're around."

"Isn't she like that with everyone? I mean, that's part of her personality."

"THat's true, but it's much more so with you. She just never said anything, because she knows–or–thinks you're straight, and therefore, not interested in that sense."

"So... should I tell her?"

"I can't tell you to do that, Baby. All I can tell you to do is follow your heart and your gut. Don't listen to the thoughts that are telling you you'll scare her away, or that you'll ruin your friendship and lose her forever. You know in your heart that that's not true."

"Thanks, Honey."

"Of course."

"Um... by the way, do... you think anything different about me now that you know I'm bi?"

"Absolutely not, Baby. Come here." She pulled me into a big hug, and wrapped her tail around me. "Baby, I meant what I said every time I told you that nothing would ever change between us, and that I would always, always be your friend. You are, and always will be, my sweet little baby sissy. Your sexuality does not phase me at all. In fact, I think it's wonderful that you trusted me with this. It makes my heart sing, and I'm so proud of you for being honest with yourself about who you are."

"What about our parents? How do you think they'll react?"

"The exact same way. Remember, they knew Kitty was gay when they met her, and they adore her. They won't feel any differently about you, and I think that, if you do end up with Kitty, they'll be over the moon... and so will I. Baby, we all love you, and nothing will ever change that. You won't lose any of us, not me or Brad or Mom and Dad or Kelly and Tyler... and certainly not Kitty. You have a big family of people who love you unconditionally, and we accept you the way you are." She kissed my forehead. "We wouldn't change a thing about you, Sweetheart."

I rested my head on Honey's chest as she held me. "Thank you, Sweater Sister. I love you so freaking much."

"Awwww, I wuv you, too, Maddiepoo."