Beyond our eyes | COMPLETED

Love hurts, right?

I knew it was Rocco before i even turned around.

"Dad this is Rocco" i said glancing and Rocco then looking back at my dad, firmly eyeing his reaction.

He looked surprised, the first time he's seeing a man in his daughters house that isn't Emmanuel.
"Good afternoon sir" Rocco greeted, taking a seat beside me.

My dad eyed Rocco's movements then asked.          "a friend?"
Rocco and i aren't official but he's the closest thing i have to a boyfriend and I'm pretty sure we're way more than friends.

Not knowing how to answer my dad's question and deciding on the fact that he didn't need an answer anyways, i ignored his question and repeated my question from before. "Why are you here?"

My dad shifted uncomfortably then looked at Rocco then me, i immediately sensed his silent request for privacy so Rocco and i shared eye contact and i nodded at him. He stood up and left the living room for my dad and i.

My dad looked like he was taking his time with the words he wanted to let put so I gave him time.
Soon, his lips opened and he said
"Dinah, I'm sorry"

There was obviously more from where this came from so I didn't say anything,waiting for the explanation i knew was coming.

"when it comes to you, i know i have a lot to be sorry about" he admitted then put his hands on his face.

"When your mum died, i passed through so many phases. I felt guilty, sad, mad" he shook his head "it was difficult to look at you but i tried my best to groom you. As you grew older, I honestly hated being around you because you reminded me so much of your mum. I shouldn't have treated you badly because of that and I'm sorry"

"I never gave you information about your mum, you deserved to know but i was too selfish, I'm sorry"  he continued "I'm sorry I got married without your knowledge" it looked like he was going to shed tears but he continued "I watched my wife maltreat you and did nothing, countless things., i left you to fend for yourself and the reaction i had when I found out about your baby" he said looking extremely vulnerable, "will you ever be able to forgive me?" He finished with a question.

"This is very sudden" i said the first thing that came to my head.
In all honesty I didn't know how to react. My dad is very egoistical so this must have taken a lot from him.

"This apology would have meant a lot to me months  or a year ago. Right now......I'm so numb I don't even know how to react" i said truthfully.

"All these years, i knew i was treating you wrongly but i just didn't know any better" my dad said

"I'm not holding any grudge against you, not anymore at-least" i said
"I'm over it and pre occupied with my life to let you affect it. I'm used to life without you, makes no difference to me" i said.
This might hurt but it's the truth.

"I've learnt to move past the bullshit, move past you. What you do can't affect me anymore" i said and he nodded "you're right"

"You're strong and you always cope, I shouldn't have expected anything less from you" he said then added "but, this apology is needed, I'm dying with guilt and this is the only way to ease the burden. I came today to tell you that if i could change anything, I'll go back in time and start with amending things with your mother" he said.

"I lost her and I'm here because I'm not ready to lose you too. Only a fool makes the same mistakes twice, I've been a fool all my life but this is the breaking point for me dear" he said, standing from his chair, moving closer to me. "I'm sorry"