Something Changed

Prologue

A/N: This is my personal story so please keep comments respectful although I do appreciate constructive criticism. After all that hope you enjoy it (to a certain extent) and if you are faced with any of the problems found in this story please do talk to someone! Thank You :D

You know, once upon a time, I had thought of bullying to be a game. A fun thing to do with my friends in order to raise my social status. It isn't. Bullying is nothing like that. It is hurtful and harmful and can cause things no one even thought of. Social status? HA! What a joke! Friendships based upon the harming of others is never going to last very long. It didn't, not for me, and I wouldn't think for anyone else either as it is all fake! All of it! How would want a friend who can be cruel and spiteful? Not me, certainly and not anyone else either, I'd gather. These people create an illusion of a ladder climbing so high that they can never fail and feel as if they are on top of the world. One day they will find that illusion smashed and the ladder that was not there in the first place shattered into itty bitty pieces. After all who would want a ladder when they can have a mountain.

I remember when I was in year 2, I was a bastard of a child. There was this girl slightly overweight bless her poor soul and the butt of every joke in the class. I had fallen in with the wrong crowd even at that age and my so called 'best friend' Chloe and me thought it was a good idea to tease her all the time. It was only making fun at first only 'having a laugh' and then it got more serious. It continued and continued and continued until it came to a grinding halt one lunchtime when it went too far. It had escalated until we started kicking and punching her and when she finally worked up the courage to go to a teacher, she had bruises all over her legs. I remember thinking that, that couldn't have been me could it? I didn't do that did I? Even then I lied blatantly to the headmistress' face saying we would never do a thing like that. Me being the goody too shoes that I was got away with it and the bullied girl was told off for lying, Perhaps at that time I could not have been blamed for my actions and I never did it again but . I will never forget her face of betrayal and hurt. I never spoke to Chloe from then on, even scorning her at times and I always tried to help people after that even if it was in my own twisted way, sometimes.

In year 3 there was a boy called Ryan. The rest of the class shunned him - children can be cruel and I should know, I was one of them. They used to tease him because he had a hygiene problem and even though it may not have been his fault but they still teased and scratched him. Although I had never partaken in this 'past time' I had pretty much ignored it until this point. On the way to assembly one of the larger boys in our class - Andrew I think his name was - pushed Ryan into the fan scratching his whole back. In that moment I remembered a young girl staring up at me with tears in her eyes and running away, limping. I rushed over to help him putting his arm around my shoulders and hefting him towards the teacher. He left later that year and I felt sorrow because i had not actively helped to stop it.

My first memory of Karma coming back to me was in that same year near summer. Every year we would have a ay where we could come in whatever we wanted to school and have fun and play games. Everyone joined in - even the older years as exams had passed. Me, having recently acquired a beautiful red and golden gown (from toys r us dressing up section) and was determined to wear it. I loved it and would come home from school every day beaming after I had put it on. So, I went into school with it on. My mother had warned me of course that no one else would be in fancy dress but i loved it so much that "I didn't care" i told her. And so i walked into the class and the first thing someone says to me is "You look so stupid.". That someone happened to be the class clown and all the students favourite so needless to say it wasn't a surprise when everyone starts laughing at me. Even my best friends at the time were having a jolly good time laughing at my torment. I ran from the class crying with tears of anguish running down my cheeks. The only person who came to see if I was okay was the person who I had bullied in year 2 which really set the water works going. My only friends had left me to cry on my own when they knew I was hurt not physically but mentally. It is true you know sometimes those you think are your friends quickly become your enemies and those enemies eventually may become friends.

There is a statistic somewhere that states that 60% of those that are bullied become bullies themselves in one form of another to take revenge on their tormenters by taking their frustration out on others. For me I think it was the other way round. I went from being the bully to being the bullied, from being a small fiery girl with a vicious streak to a teenager feeling unable to seek help, from being trapped in depression to finally gaining my freedom again. This is my story.