Chapter 3: Memories

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September 27, 2023



Its been over a month since my senior year officially started. During that time, I began getting more familiar with my classes. A lot had changed from junior year to senior year. I got put in different classes than last year, each with new teachers. As I was walking around the hallway, I saw the school library full of books and people. I walked over to it with my gaze transfixed on the endless shelves of books. So many choices to choose from, but I decided to sit down and scroll on my phone instead.

I hadn't seen Tracy in a long time, ever since she had a family emergency a week ago and had to leave the city to go to her grandparents house. I missed her. I needed the positive in my life to counterbalance the negative inside me. I was feeling depressed with out her. I heard a voice in my head get louder.

"Why cant you just be happy?" my head was saying.

I tried not to listen to it. An impossible task if you ask me. I left the library started walking towards my house. Fortunately for me, my house was only a couple of blocks away from the school.

On the way to my house I was halted by a stoplight and pressed the button so I could cross the road. Cars were zooming by and I couldn't see anything in front of me. Finally the cars stopped and it looked as if a sea was being parted in front of me. On the other side of the cross walk I saw someone. I saw her. Not the girl I wanted to see.  Someone who I never wanted to see again.

I crossed slowly, keeping my head down, trying to hide my face. She noticed me immediately. I was half way down the three lane street when my shoulder was tapped by her.

"Chris?" she asked.

I slowly turned my head up and tried to come up with a response. Should I attempt to make up something to get me out of her sight. Should I not say anything at all and keep walking. I couldn't. That was too rude, even for me. I gulped a gulp of a thousand memories and opened my mouth.

"Lindsey?" I asked. I knew exactly who she was.

We looked into each others eyes; something that we had done many times before. I wanted to run away and escape this conversation, but it was too late. Just then I snapped back into reality and realized we were standing in the middle of traffic and the cars were honking at us. We got out of the middle of the street and didn't know what to say to each other. I hadn't seen my ex in so long. My first love.

"How are you doing?" She asked enthusiastically.

"Fine I guess" I answered dryly.

"I didn't know that you got accepted to Baylor, that's pretty cool!" She said trying to start up some sort of conversation. She must've seen the schools Instagram post that had all the students and the colleges they got accepted to.

I replied with  "Its always been a dream school of mine, I never thought I would actually make it."

Before Lindsey could open her mouth to respond, I put an end to the conversation. "Well it was nice to see you again, but I really should be going."

As I turned to walk way, she grabbed my arm and pulled me back around.

Her smile that she was giving me had turned more into a frown.

"You don't want to just talk for a second?" She asked sadly.

"Sorry Lindsey but I've got places to be. Maybe another time." I was hoping that time would never come.

Her face grew sad. But she nodded to show that she understood.

"Okay then, ill see you later" She said.

I was getting ready to walk away when she took my hand and squeezed it really tight. I stood there confused at why she would ever do something like this. Before I could let go of her, she walked away. Her walk turned into sprint as she saw some of her friends.

I wanted to forget that this ever happened, but I couldn't. I had forgotten about her once before, but the memory of her had rushed back into my mind. The good times, the bad times. Mostly the bad times.

Emotions were swirling through my head like a machine of ice-cream mixing different flavors. But the flavors wouldn't mesh, they just kept going around and around.

Maybe these memories were never forgotten, but buried away, and Lindsey had dug them back up. Whatever it was, it was in my mind now. For some reason, I felt some remorse for how our relationship ended. It was mostly her fault when I look back at it, but maybe if I gave her more of a chance.

"No!" I yelled to myself.

I cant look at the past. She is my past and will never become my future. I needed to forget these memories, but I didn't know how? How do you just get rid of those horrible times? I realized what I had to do, I had to fill those memories with better ones. And Tracy was the only thing I had left that brought brightness into my life. These thoughts consumed me for the next three hours in my bedroom. I noticed that it was getting late and decided to go to sleep.

I saw something different in my dreams. It wasn't darkness this time. It was a memory. It was the worst memory I had ever tried to forget. And it was playing in front of me in full screen. A movie that I couldn't look away from. A horror movie.

Word Count: 948

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