Tempered by Love

Chapter 21 Parenthood: Who Needs It?

Daniel planned everything for Saturday night: tickets, reservations for dinner, the hire car, even  new clothes.  Clothes buying alone involved two hours after work, listening to the clerk at An Gearsdan's only men's store,  explain the latest in male fashion. By the time, he'd  tucked the boys in and finished stories, all Daniel wanted was a lie-down. He collapsed on the sofa in the TARDIS lounge fully intending to read a bit and go to bed. Instead, the ship lulled him to sleep, just as she had every night since opening her doors to him. At precisely eight AM, a dream startled him awake, leaving him unsettled, staring up at the ceiling. The sounds of the clock on the coffee table ticked in perfect timing to the pounding of his hearts, reminding him Saturday morning had arrived.

Addie had plans, the boys would go to Katherine and Fergus for their weekend visit. He'd taken every detail into account. Why then was he so nervous? Instead of his hearts pounding in anticipation, they pounded in fear. He kept thinking of how she'd called him 'Doctor' when he'd kissed her behind the tree in the Vitex garden so long ago. "Get a grip," he muttered, scrubbing his hand over his face. "That was then; this is now."

'So, if so much has changed; why didn't ya tell her the truth about what I did to ya?' the TARDIS seemed to say. Or was it Donna's voice he heard? 'You're a bloody coward, still worried about being a shadow man. Why would Rose want to date a person who can't get it together?'

The answer screamed back. She wouldn't. The clarity of that thought hit like a tonne of bricks. He had no right to ask Rose out. Daniel bolted upright and fled the TARDIS for his bedroom and his mobile. He needed to put a stop to this before he hurt her.

"Dad?"

No, he groaned as he spun around to see a disgruntled seven-year-old in the hallway. Of all days not to beat Robbie out of bed, this day was not it. He forced a smile."Yeah. What's wrong, Sport?" he asked.

"Nana Addie says I can't take my football kit to Glesca. She said I can't take my games either. It's boring to ride in the car without something to do. Why can't I take my stuff?"

"Do you want to go?" Daniel asked almost hoping he would say no.

"Yeah, but it's not fair, I don't want to go to some dumb museum. Gran said I could take my camera but nothing else. Besides, I don't want a boring old ride listening to the babies make noise," he retorted.

"The museum is not dumb, you'll enjoy it. Were you planning on playing football with anyone? Uncle Don will be busy and Jake is on duty at Torchwood today."

"There are kids I can play with." Robbie stopped, his eyebrows puckered. "If Uncle Don marries Shawna, does it mean he won't play with me anymore?"

Daniel sighed heavily. "No, it just means his free time will be a bit more - complicated. As for Nana Addie, she just wants you focused on having fun with your grandparents, not the neighbourhood kids. Tell her that I said you can take your games and that I will make sure you leave them in the car. Now - go eat breakfast while I take a shower."

"Dad?"

"Yeah."

"You ever gonna sleep in your room?"

"I sleep in my room. I just needed to - do stuff and I fell asleep - on the sofa by accident," he defended, knowing full well Robbie knew he was lying.

"Can I sleep in the TARDIS?"

"No, go eat your breakfast."

Robbie pulled a face and turned to the stairs, leaving Daniel feeling a bit ashamed. With the boy's footsteps descending the stairs, he headed for his room, and his mobile. If you don't go, everyone will be narked; Rose will be hurt, and Jackie will kill me, he thought, staring at the blank screen. "Bloody coward," he muttered, dropping it on the bedside table with a huff. If there was ever a morning he needed a shower to clear his head, it was today.