A Wild Thing - Troy Otto

forty-four

"Oh my gosh, Troy, what happened?" Evelyn exclaimed. It was the middle of a normal December night. The only reason Evelyn was still awake was because she had a really late morning. She was on her winter break now, and was appreciating her sleep since she no longer had midterms to worry about. Hey night was going as normal until Troy slipped in her room with bruises and blood on his face.

Troy sighed. He didn't see the light coming from Evelyn's dim lamp through the crack under her door. If he did, he would turned around and avoided her until the bruises faded. "I didn't think you'd be awake."

"That wasn't the question," Evelyn sat up from her spot, gesturing Troy to come closer. He complied. "What happened, Troy?"

"You know," he coughed, bringing his hand up to scratch his neck. Evelyn knew whatever he was about to say was going to be a flat-out lie. "Training stuff."

     "Troy," she groaned, "you're lying." When he didn't respond, she sighed. "We don't have to talk about it, I'll help you clean up," she begrudgingly got up to find the medicine cabinet, annoyed she had to clean her bruised boyfriend up like all the cliché romance movies she'd seen, but still willing to do it. She'd do anything for him, but once again, Troy just lied and refused to tell Evelyn a thing. What was new? Recently it'd been feeling like she was dating a brick wall, but ultimately it was Troy's decision if he felt like sharing things with her or not. It would be selfish of her to ask otherwise.

"I don't like this 'defending the land' stuff," Evelyn spoke up after a while of silence. She was no nurse, but she knew how to wipe blood away and use bandages. She was feeling a bit of every single emotion at the moment.

"What do you mean?" Troy's shoulders partially deflated. Evelyn knew it was something he was proud of. She wanted to support him, but she couldn't defend this.

Evelyn rubbed her tired face with a free hand. "Well... if you're telling the truth and this training is why you're so beat up right now, why should I like it? I mean, look at these bruises, Troy! This is not okay if you ask me!"

"Ev," he cupped her face gently, as if she was the fragile one there. "I'm alright. Yeah, I might have a few scratches, so what? I'm here and I'm completely okay."

Evelyn brought her hands up to remove Troy's. "Stop trying to distract me," she muttered, shaking her head. Things felt so complicated. It was moments like these that made her feel that, even though Troy was sitting right in front of her, he was a million miles away; and he wasn't getting any closer. Not at all in the five whole months they'd spent together. "You know, a relationship is more than just hugging and kissing," she looked Troy in the eye. She tried to keep her tone and words civil as possible because her biggest fear was having another fight with troy. "It's trusting, and sharing, and really caring. I just- I don't know," she paused searching for the right words. "I just feel like our dynamic is so weird sometimes."

"I think our dynamic is perfectly fine," Troy shrugged. He didn't put anymore effort into touching her again. This made Evelyn sad for a moment, until she remembered that she'd just pried his hands off of her face not even a few minutes earlier.

"It's not, Troy!" Evelyn had to look away. She took a second to collect and sort her thoughts before continuing. "I feel like you're always lying to me, or hiding me. And I don't know what it means! I just know it really doesn't make me feel good. It doesn't make me feel... secure, if that even makes sense."

"It makes sense," Troy nodded in affirmation, grabbing her hands. "I never realized you felt like that, Ev," if Evelyn didn't know any better, she would've thought a fully programmed robot was sitting right in front of her; speaking to her in its emotionless voice and following orders. "You know I don't have much experience when it comes to relationships like these. This is all new to me. I really care about you, Ev. I never want to make you feel this way."

Evelyn shook her head. It was the same excuse every single time. She was getting sick of it. "Yeah, whatever," she turned her attention away from him, instead focusing on placing the amateur medical supplies on her nightstand.

"Are you mad at me?" she heard him ask. She froze.

"I'm not mad," she started, looking down at her hands to avoid any kind of eye contact. "I just- I need more. I don't like feeling like I'm the only one trying here."

     She could feel Troy's eyes on her and she crossed her fingers, hoping that this would resolve the one-sided issues in their relationship. She had been feeling lonely. The time she had left before she made her biggest decisions was running out, her college applications were due in less than a month. "I'm sorry, Ev."

She waited for him to continue but he never did. She didn't know what she expected, but she knew she wanted than this. "Okay," she nodded, shuffling over to her side of the bed.

"Evelyn, I don't want you to be mad at me," he grabbed her arm before she could lay down, facing the other way. "I'm sorry—I don't know what else to tell you."

"It's fine," she shook her head. Troy heard her words but he knew she was trying not to cry. It was moments like these (especially this one) that she had to remind herself that Troy didn't owe her everything, did he? Of course, she wanted to know the boy she was dating, but it wasn't her place to push to know things he didn't want to share. She was just sick of Troy keeping secrets, and then denying that he was keeping any secrets when she could clearly tell he was. It all felt too personal.

She sighed as Troy pulled her into his chest. "Are you okay?" he whispered the question after leaving a kiss on her head.

"Yeah," Evelyn tried to answer certainly. She was tired of Troy getting his way like this. He would steer away from answering her questions by distracting her with affection. But she cared about him, with pretty much her whole entire heart, so she'd put up with it a million little times.

:(
wc: 1115
06.26.22