I Lied | BTS

10

Kangdae stood before their infuriated dance instructor and after he had arrived ten minutes late it was clear to see why, Chanwoo required a person to be punctual and not at all competent and it seemed Kangdae was not that.

With his hands behind his back and shoulders squared, Kangdae took the tellings like they were nothing at all or, perhaps, only adding to his thick skin. Chanwoo was doing his job, Kangdae could take it.

"Are you even listening to me, Moon?!" Chanwoo snapped his fingers in front of Kangdae's emotionless face.

"Yes, Chanwoo-Nim." It was as if he was a soldier speaking with someone higher in command and it made the others behind him wonder how he had been moulded into that.

Chanwoo scoffed, disregarding each stare and glare he was receiving, and leaned in to whisper in Kangdae's ear, "I'm going to break you, Moon, you don't belong here and everyone knows it."

Kangdae moved his head away from the man's ghastly breath, face still blank as he looked at his instructor, "Is that all, Chanwoo-Nim." He knew how to stand up for himself and he wasn't afraid to either, Chanwoo had gone too far and all Kangdae saw was a bully out to make his life a living hell. Well, two could play at that game. 

Chanwoo only glared at Kangdae, the silence in the room a little unnerving but to Kangdae it was almost amusing. Chanwoo was pathetic.

Kangdae didn't say anything else and instead moved away to integrate back into the group, waiting to get the yelling and demanding over with. Kangdae was just glad it was directed at him and not anyone else.

"Everything okay?" Hoseok asked the man that appeared more angered than usual.

Kangdae rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck, "Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" He didn't wait for an answer and began his stretches. 

Chanwoo didn't like him, it was that simple but Kangdae just didn't know why. Maybe he was a big fan of BTS and didn't want to see it get ruined with a new member so he was doing what he thought was best for the group and for the fanbase. Kangdae didn't care anymore and it took him too long for that to even register in his mind. With less than a month until his debut and training painfully for the past months, Kangdae deserved one small win, just one and he would be happy. Sure, he wasn't the best person, hell he wasn't even a good person, but he tried his best and he gave everything he had for even the possibility of succeeding, wasn't that worth something at least? Namjoon sure thought so as he continued to cheer Kangdae ad encourage him to keep going.

"You're doing great." Namjoon had once told him, sitting beside Kangdae lying on the bed with the blanket held tightly in his hands, anxiety and doubt crippling his body's function.

"Okay," Kangdae mumbled, "but is it enough?" He didn't even look at the younger man, knowing the darkness would cause more shadows on his angular face.

Namjoon placed a hand on Kangdae's blanket-covered leg, "It will always be enough. Every idol went through this before they debuted." 

"It was all a waste of time," Kangdae whispered.

"Don't say that," Namjoon firmly spoke with that leader tone of his and Kangdae's gaze moved to him, "Don't you ever say that. You are enough, Dae-Hyung, and you're going to be great. Don't start feeling sorry for yourself now."

Kangdae frowned, he was bringing everyone down, wasn't he? He should be lifting everyone up but he was being too selfish, thinking about himself too much and he hated himself for it. It was too late to back out now, he would let down so many people, including the ones that didn't like him very much, they had trained with him for months only for him to turn around and say it was all useless and that he was quitting. That wasn't who Kangdae was, he doesn't quit.

Slowly sitting up from his cramped position, Kangdae sighed heavily at the sudden exhaustion taking over, "You're right, leader... sorry." He mumbled.

Namjoon chuckled quietly, "You have nothing to be sorry for."

Kangdae looked into the man's eyes with newfound confidence though his gaze was filled with fatigue and his eyes were dark from lack of sleep and more worrying. Namjoon was smiling at him softly with such warmth that Kangdae almost laughed at the odd but familiar feeling, he hadn't felt such emotion since...

He frowned at the sudden thought and pondered why it was there in the first place.

"Dae-Hyung? Everything okay?" Namjoon asked him and his fickle behaviour.

Kangdae caught sight of the slight redness on his fellow member's cheeks but chose to ignore it for the time being as he placed his head on Namjoon's shoulder, "Everything's fine, Joonie." He hated when things got too complicated.