I Lied | BTS

19

Nothing else was said that night, the pair falling asleep still in each other's arms. Kangdae knew how much that kiss affected Namjoon, how much it scared him and how much feeling he put behind it but Kangdae was still trying to get his mind in order and it was transpiring to be a very hard task.

He woke up early the next morning and left the comfort of their room to grab himself a glass of water after something would not stop prodding the inside of his head painfully but it was not a good idea anyway because there he saw Jin sitting at the dining table with a coffee sitting untouched in front of him.

Kangdae sighed and walked past the man, doing his best to ignore his presence though not out of rudeness or anything of the like and quickly grabbed a glass.

Jin had instantly noticed his appearance and was clearly looking for answers so early in the morning, "So, you and Namjoon are together?"

Kangdae choked on the water slightly, "Together?"

"I saw you two kiss."

Setting the glass down, Kangdae gulped, "Oh. That."

"I didn't know you two were that close."

"It's complicated." Kangdae stood at a good distance away from Jin though he could still see the conflicting thoughts on his face and he was sure Jin could see them on him.

Jin raised a brow, "As complicated as your relationship with me?"

"Jin." He was ignored.

"He was the one that initiated it. So, is he in love with you?"

"Love is a strong word."

"Not to you it's not." Jin stared blankly and Kangdae returned it.

"Really, Jin?"

Jin shrugged, "I'm asking a serious question."

"And I'm trying to tell you I don't know."

"You didn't talk about it?"

"Would you rather we did that in front of you?" Kangdae scoffed, hands raised as if to show him how absurd he was being.

"Not if you're going to break his heart."

"I wouldn't do that."

"Why not?" Jin inquired with a frown.

"Do you want me to, is that it? You want me to give him the same treatment I gave you because... it's only fair, right?" Kangdae was exasperated as he shook his head but it only caused Jin's face to fall and grow saddened. 

"That's not what I meant."

Kangdae sighed, "I'm not going to hurt Namjoon. I tried so hard not to hurt you too but it was inevitable and yes, I regret that every day but I'm not that person anymore."

"You're not?" Jin peered up at him with surprise as if something switched in his head and he saw everything in a new light and suddenly the fight was over and something else was put on display, something hopeless and yet terrified. Kangdae wished he could read that mind of his and try to comprehend what Jin had just noticed or realised and why it had affected him so abruptly.

"No."

"So, I guess you and Namjoon will be very happy together." Jin stood, leaving his coffee and Kangdae behind like a child that hadn't gotten their way.

"Seokjin," Kangdae called but, of course, it fell on deaf ears.

It was at that moment that Namjoon left their room, obviously having heard at least the end of their conversation as he looked at Kangdae with wide unsure eyes. Kangdae could only sigh and fall into the chair Jin had been occupying. It was just his luck that everything had turned out like it had, with Jin not angry but sad and Namjoon hearing what had occurred. When was he allowed to have a win in his life?

"How much of that did you hear?" Kangdae asked Namjoon who was standing in front of him, wringing his hands together.

"About when you said you wouldn't hurt me. What were you two talking about."

Kangdae clenched his jaw, head propped up on his hand, "He saw the kiss."

Namjoon gaped, his face turning a deep red, "Oh." He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, "Is he angry at me?"

"No, he's upset at me."

Pulling out the chair next to Kangdae, Namjoon sat down, "Why you?"

"Because of what happened, because he thinks I'll... break your heart like I did with his."

Namjoon grabbed ahold of Kangdae's hand, "You need to tell him what really happened, Dae-Hyung, for everyone's sake."

Kangdae hummed and squeezed his hand, "You're probably right."