I Lied | BTS

17

Kangdae stared at himself through the mirror, he didn't look any better than he did when he had his breakdown and he appeared even skinnier but at least his eyes weren't red and puffy. 

Things between him and Jin were weird, weirder than normal but it was only because the two could actually look at each other in the eye for more than half a second. Yoongi was trying to be better around Kangdae and everyone could see it, when he sat beside Kangdae on the couch with plenty of other seats open, when he opted to inform Kangdae about a meal and leaving Namjoon standing in the hallway like a dying fish, Kangdae was actually thankful.

Taehyung, however, barely glanced his way so it was odd to see him open the bathroom door without knocking and look at him through the mirror like he was supposed to find him.

Kangdae narrowed his eyes, "What are you doing?"

"Breakfast is ready." Taehyung casually spoke.

"Okay, I'll be out in a minute." Kangdae brushed it off and washed his hands in the sink.

"I wanted to ask you something." Taehyung went on, hand moving to lock the door rather threateningly, "Are you alright?" The question came out of nowhere and it was beyond unusual.

Kangdae turned to face him, "Excuse me?"

"I saw the comments on our last post and I know you saw them too. I just want to make sure you don't go and off yourself in the middle of the night."

Somehow, word had gotten around that Kangdae was seen on the side of a bridge with even a picture of a hooded figure sitting alone in the dark. A lot of people had taken to their Twitter and Instagram to encourage him to actually go through with it, others were kind and concerned for his wellbeing, asking questions that were not answered.

"Who put you up to this?"

"No one, I'm just a naturally caring person." Taehyung shrugged.

"Right." Kangdae scoffed and turned back to face the mirror.

"So, are you thinking about it?"

"About what?"

"Killing yourself," Taehyung said as if it were obvious.

"Is this your way of keeping a check on me because I'm not understanding?"

"Whatever, I was just asking." The younger huffed rather dramatically, unlocked the door and walked out without closing it behind him. The whole encounter had Kangdae very confused, to say the least. What was that about and why did he suddenly want to know if he was alright? Someone must have put him up to it, possibly Namjoon.

The next thing Kangdae knew he was being pulled into the car with Hoseok, Jimin and Jungkook for a reason he was not told about. Jimin sat beside him excitedly with Hoseok in the driver's seat and Jungkook next to him. 

"Where are we going?" Kangdae asked halfway through the drive.

Jimin grinned, "To the aquarium."

"Why?"

"Cause Kookie and I wanted to."

Jungkook turned in his seat with a matching grin, actually looking at Kangdae like they were friends which, again, made Kangdae feel odd. Since when did Jungkook like him at all? Kangdae knew he tolerated him and he knew he was more open-minded about having another member but it was still odd. 

The group of four strolled through the aquarium, Kangdae and Hoseok walking at a leisurely pace while the other two excitedly wandered off ahead like young children.

Kangdae and Hoseok both chuckled when Jungkook and Jimin pushed their faces against the glass of a fish tank.

"How are you feeling?" Hoseok asked out of the blue.

Kangdae shrugged, "Good, I guess. You?"

"I'm good, just glad you're okay."

Was he supposed to ask why? Should he ask why he didn't hate him as he should? Kangdae wasn't sure how to respond or should he at all? 

Kangdae watched the sharks swim overhead and marvelled at the way the water made the light sway so beautifully. At least they had gone to a place that was calming and quiet, somewhere he could hear himself think and possibly get his mind back in order. He had to make things right.

Kangdae messaged his sister once or twice but he knew he wouldn't get an answer, that was why he didn't bother with Minjun at all. He just wanted to know if they were alright and if he should send Jin to see how they were doing, someone that wasn't him. Should he even be allowed to have the responsibilities of an older brother? Should he be allowed to want to know if they were okay?

Hidden so deep in his mind, Kangdae didn't realise he had stopped walking until a hand grabbed his and pulled, "Come on." Jungkook urged him and Kangdae followed, neither bothering to let go because it was actually comforting.

The afternoon was pleasant and something that Kangdae didn't know he needed and as they left the building, Kangdae had a small grin painted over his features out of happiness that had been so sudden but nice and it was all thanks to three men that would never understand how much Kangdae was thankful for.