I Lied | BTS

08

Kangdae had quickly grown close with Namjoon, Jimin and Hoseok, each one as kind as the next and is always asking if he was free to do something together like friends. Kangdae guessed that was what they were, friends, he didn't have many of those and it felt nice.

That was how Kangdae and Namjoon found themselves giving each other much-needed advice on their work, needing questions to their answers and knowing the other would help. Namjoon's opinion mattered more to Kangdae than he would have thought it did, he respected his input and compliments and he knew Namjoon felt the exact same way when he beamed whenever Kangdae told him something was really good. They had begun seeking one another out in the short while they knew each other and yet that very same reason brought Kangdae and Jin together in even the smallest of ways.

"Namjoon?!" Kangdae called throughout the quiet dorm, heading into the living room and kitchen to find the younger man only he didn't find him and instead startled Jin in the kitchen causing him to drop a glass he was cleaning and cut himself. "Jesus, Jin! What the hell?!" Kangdae exclaimed, seeing the blood pouring from the man's hand.

"Don't yell at me!" Jin shouted with tears in his eyes and obvious pain was written all over his face.

"Here." Kangdae reached out for him, "Just- let me help."

Jin pulled away, "I got it. I said I got it!"

"Seokjin!"Kangdae yelled and Jin quickly stopped struggling, peering up at him with wide shimmering eyes, "Let me help. Come on." He pulled Jin softly by the wrist into the bathroom.

"I can do it myself."

"Shut up and sit." Kangdae grabbed Jin by the waist and lifted him up onto the sink where he washed the blood off gently. Jin's eyes flickered from his hand to Kangdae, almost standing between his legs, working like he hadn't a thought in his mind and expression completely blank. The air was awkward and tense but no more than usual.

Jin shifted in his spot slightly, "What did you need Namjoon for?" He cleared his throat and looked away.

"Just wanted to get his opinion on something. It's nothing." Kangdae shrugged like it wasn't a big deal because it wasn't.

"You're close?"

Kangdae's gaze met Jin's and he chuckled almost fondly at his pretty face, "You really asking me or are you just making conversation?" He wrapped a bandage around his hand carefully.

"I don't know." 

"We're friends." Kangdae smiled softly, "He's a good leader."

"He is."

Their eyes met again although that time wasn't a glance, they were looking at one another for the first time in five years and it took Kangdae's breath away. To be standing before someone that used to hold all of his love, all of his happiness and comfort only for it to be nonexistent in the present was like a glitch in their reality. For a moment they held nothing but love, for that split second where everything was forgotten and they felt like they were teenagers again but they weren't and things have changed.

Kangdae looked away with a scoff-like chuckle as he secured the bandage, "At least we won't have to amputate it." He said before he was quickly out the door and back to his room in a matter of seconds, he couldn't let himself fall all over again, he couldn't let himself hurt Jin like he did last time.

Jin had found them one day, Kangdae and Chul standing together in a vacant classroom with the door cracked open like they wanted to be caught. There they were kissing with her arms wrapped around his neck and his around her small waist.

Kyun Chul was a popular girl and not at all nice, especially to Seokjin who she seemed to have a personal vendetta against. She would hit him, call him names, and laugh when someone tripped the poor boy to the ground. She was a terrible person but it was worse with Seokjin and to see his lifelong best friend and lover kissing her like they were in love; it broke his heart into pieces.

The door creaked on its hinges as it was pushed slightly, the pair seeing the tear-stained face of Seokjin standing in the doorway, lip trembling and chest heaving.

 Kangdae quickly caught onto the smirk the girl was giving the older boy and glared at her, "Chul, not a word." She only shrugged and picked at her nails while Kangdae dragged Seokjin out of the room and into the empty corridor. 

"Yo- you lied to me." Seokjin sobbed up at the tall boy.

Kangdae sighed, running a hand through his hair, "Bub, listen to me."

"No! You lied!"

"Bub-"

"You don't get to call me that anymore! You said you loved me! You said you cared! You lied!"

"I didn't lie!" Kangdae yelled back in fury, eyes blazing and fists shaking at his sides.

"Yes, you did! Was any of it true?! Did you just feel sorry for me?!"

Kangdae desperately took a step forward but Seokjin moved back, "Can't I love two people at the same time?!"

"No, not like this. Not with her." Seokjin whimpered, "Out of everyone, why did it have to be her?"

"I'm sorry-"

"That's not good enough." Seokjin shook his head with a look of complete betrayal and disbelief that the one person he had trusted with his life could do something so terrible, "Goodbye, Moon Kangdae." Seokjin pushed past the guilt-ridden boy.

"Bub, wait." Kangdae called but it fell on deaf ears, "Bub. Jin! Seokjin!"

It would haunt him forever, how he could have done such a thing, but it had been done and there was no turning back. Kangdae was a horrible person, everyone knew that it just took a while longer for his true nature to show itself to the world.

Kangdae thought he would never have to see Jin again and yet he was just in the other room probably reliving the same thing, analysing their small interaction in the bathroom and wondering what it meant. Why did fate have to be so cruel and unforgiving? Especially to two boys that just wanted to forget and go on with their lives. They knew, however, that they couldn't always live so independently from one another forever.