Loki's Downfall

XIV

Months passed, but the days never got easier. It was hard to get out of bed, it became painful to smile. I just couldn't get what Heimdal told me out of my head.

"I cannot see him."

That can only mean one thing. Loki didn't survive the trip to Earth.

It seems like I'm the only one suffering anymore with Him gone, which I figured would be the case initially. But it's entirely different now that I've been told that Loki appears to be gone forever, and still everyone carries on as normal. Thor left, Odin addressed the kingdom on the events before Loki's banishment and introduced the newest members (somewhat) of the royal family...

Even the prince, Luka's fine. He's been Odin's new protege ever since Thor left, and he tells me more and more about it most every day. I do wish he'd show a little emotion about Loki anymore. I keep telling myself it's not true, that I'm not the only one missing him...

***

Today I didn't feel like trying at all. I laid in Loki's bed all morning, crying again. I can't go a day without weeping anymore. Part of me felt bad for in fact locking myself in here and not being out and about with Luka, or even go into town. I could if I wanted to...but I don't want anything but Loki.

I would have stayed under my raincloud of pity all day hadn't Luka barged in and said Odin had called an audience in the throne room and wanted us present for something.

Another announcement? What does Odin want now?

Begrudgingly I got up and dressed, having time afterwards to make my way to Luka's chambers and help him with his uniform. He always liked getting dressed up for the people, only because he knows there will be girls in the audience today, and they'll all be swooning over him. Big time.

"Where did you get all these things anyhow?" I asked Luka, picking up the helmet of the uniform (which made me realize the uniform was in fact a suit of armor) and examining it. The helmet looked oddly familiar. "Odin told me to wear it, he gave everything to me," replied my son, turning toward me as I set the helmet over his head.

That's when it all fell into place. The green and gold accents, the helmet, Luka's smile. Just like Loki's. This was Loki's armor.

Without reacting I nodded approvingly and Luka turned away toward a mirror, holding the same smile.

No more.

Stop grieving, Serena.

"How do I look?" Asked Luka jokingly, but I told him the serious truth. "Like your father," I said, more tears stinging my eyes. It sparked quite a reaction. Instead of looking behind himself at me in the mirror he turned around and made eye contact with me, his smile fading into a look of almost disbelief. "Yeah?" He asked hopefully.

After a moment of silence and the painful urge to start crying again, Luka finally gave me a consoling hug. "I miss him too, mother," he told me. I took an uneasy breath and that's when we both let go of each other. "I know...now come on, let's go see what your grandfather's bothering the kingdom about this time," I said, changing the subject and quickly wiping a tear off my cheek that I let fall out of my eye, still holding a smile.

As Luka and I walked out of his chambers the only thing I could think about was how badly I wanted to kill Odin for planning this stunt, dressing Luka up like Loki. It's insensitive.

Right as we walked into the throne room it sounded like a bomb went off. Luka took my arm, linking it in his as we walked together. On each side of us was a cheering crowd....not only Asgardians were present though. On Luka's side were Frost Giants. In fact I felt him tense up as he looked around, before I casually elbowed him. As he looked at me I reminded him to smile at the people. He complied, faking it for everybody.