The Ashes of Marriage

Chapter 14

Forsyth is a little over an hour away from where we live in Newnan. I insist on driving because of being familiar with the area, but I honestly want to drive because Bram drives like a maniac. I'm almost positive he takes turns on two wheels and refuses to drive slower than 70 mph. When we were in college, I thought his driving made him cool, but now it's just costly. Our car insurance is more expensive than both car payments combined because of the number of tickets and accidents Bram has had.

I feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins as I drive; the anticipation of the information we are about to find is killing me. I look over and see Bram fidgeting with his ring. I roll my eyes a little. If he has something to say, I wish he would just say it.

"Say it. No judgment."

Bram looks up from his hands and studies me. He seems to decide to say what's on his mind.

"What's the story with your stepdad? I mean, I know about the night, but you say nothing else about him."

I grip the steering wheel tighter. My throat feels dry and my heart beats faster. I take a deep breath and exhale. I don't feel calmer and repeat the motion a few more times. Deep breath, exhale. Deep breath, exhale. After a few moments of driving in silence, I speak.

"I never met my dad. According to Auntie, he died a little after my second birthday. I asked Candy if she ever met him, but she said she didn't. I didn't know step daddy wasn't my real dad until after Mama died. Auntie's friend Reign told me the real story."

I took a deep breath before launching into the memory.

*******

"Auntie, I caint find ma' shoes!" I was scrambling, looking frantically for my sneakers with the red Nike symbol down the side of them.

"Ali, I gotta go! I only be gone be a lil' while. Miss Reign walkin' cross tha street to sit wit ya nah." Auntie shouted as the screen slammed shut. I heard her car start as she backed out of the driveway. She was on her way to pick Candy up from her cheerleading practice and took Kora with her. I stopped looking for my shoes and went to sit on the front porch. I made it in enough time to see Miss Reign ease herself onto the porch swing. Miss Reign was very sweet, and she and Auntie have been neighbors for over 15 years. She looked younger than Auntie, but I never saw her go to work. Auntie said Miss Reign had married an older man with money and he died and left everything to her, so she didn't have to work anymore. People in town said she killed him, but I never believed it because I couldn't see a woman that nice killing anyone.

Miss Reign was very proper, and her outfits always were clean and looked freshly pressed. She wore big rings and long necklaces, and her blond hair was always in big beach waves. I would run and hug her really tight and marvel at how her pale would be, in stark contrast to my caramel skin. She smelled like lilacs.

"How is my favorite girl?" She asked with a big smile. I mumbled I was fine and glanced away. Miss Reign was not one to hold her tongue.

"Shirley told me you were on punishment." Miss Reign stated matter-of-factly. I rolled my eyes.

"I know Auntie told you why, but I ain't mean it," I said real low.

"I know you didn't... Ali, it's a hard thing for you to deal with, your mother's death. I know you are acting out." Miss Reign said soothingly. "Shirley told me you scratched out your father's name on your birth certificate and said that you hated your Mama."

"I don't hate Mama... I miss her." I whispered. Big tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Ali, how old are you now?" Miss Reign asked. I sat up straight next to her on the porch swing.

"Almost 12," I said proudly.

"Wow, you are becoming quite a young lady!" Miss Reign said with a smile. Then her face got serious. "Ali, I need to tell you something that not many people know, and it may be hard for you to hear, okay?"

"Okay," I said confidently, trying to appear more grown up. Miss Reign nodded her head and took a deep breath.

"Ali, your daddy isn't your daddy."

I stared at Miss Reign with my head cocked to the side. There were a lot of things running through my head, but I was not upset. I felt peace come over me. A feeling of relief. Step daddy was not my real daddy. My daddy did not kill my mother. I wanted to jump for joy and shout with happiness. I smiled as tears slid down my face.

"Howda ya kno?" I asked as I wiped tears away.

"Your step daddy was deployed when your Mama turned up pregnant. I was here on the porch. She ran over here to Shirley crying and told her she was pregnant, and it was the day before your step daddy would have come home from his yearlong deployment. She said she was going to tell Will the truth, that she had cheated, but Shirley said no. She said the man fought for his country and that's not what he needs to hear when he comes home. Shirley told your mama to hurry and "get close" to your step daddy before she got too far along and then lie."

"Git close? Ya mean have sex?" I said confidently. Miss Reign put her hand to her chest and cleared her throat.

"Yes, love, I mean sex. I didn't know how much you knew about it."

"I kno that's how babies are made." I said slowly, trying to talk properly, like Miss Reign. Miss Reign nodded her head.

"Well, your Mama listened to Shirley and your step daddy believed you were his until around your first birthday, he took you to the doctor for your check-up and learned your blood type was B but he knew both he and your mama have O blood. He knew that was impossible for him to be your father. He noticed different things about you he ignored at first. Like how your hair started growing out in that copper brown color, and your skin was much lighter than his and your mama. He told his Mama and then they confronted your Mama, and she came clean." Miss Reign hesitated, and then her face hardened. "After that, your step daddy got mean. He used to be gentle, and then he became rough and mean. He slapped your Mama around and I know it hurt him, but instead of leaving your Mama, he punished her and you girls."

"Do ya know who my daddy is?" I asked anxiously. Miss Reign looked at me with sad eyes.

"I don't know, my sweet girl. I wish I did." She said. "But if your mama told anyone, it would be your aunt."

******

I came out of my memory and looked over at Bram, who was gazing at me. I focused on the road.

"About a month after my conversation with Miss Reign, I confronted Auntie about my real daddy. She said she wanted to tell me but didn't know how. She said all Mama said about him was she loved him and that when Mama found out he died, she was inconsolable."

"Do you remember any good times with your stepdad?" Bram asked.

"No," I said staring straight ahead. "He made sure to make it hard for any good things to happen in our life.

Silence consumed the car as I continued to drive. The weather was warming up quickly, and the sun danced across the hood of my car like bright flames.