The Ashes of Marriage

Chapter 24

I inch along the hallway walls towards the dim light seeping through the partially closed bedroom door. It's cold in this part of the house since the central unit stopped working, and Auntie only bought heaters for the bedrooms. The long sleeves of my nightgown provide little protection from the cold as my teeth chatter, and I clench my jaw to quiet them. I hear Auntie talking in hushed tones and I can barely make out what she says. She has a blue Trac phone I've never seen before in her hand.

"I can't send you no money! Tha gurls and me barely getin' by. The heat broke and I can't fix it!"

I hear put my ear to the door and hear someone yelling on the phone.

"It's not like that... I ain't doin' no such thang... Look, I'm gettin paid Friday, I'll send what I but no mo' after this. I'm done. I'm throwin' this phone away and I'm stop bein' stupid. I'm done!"

Auntie rips the phone from her ear although the person on the other in is still roaring at her and hangs up the phone. Auntie picks up her purse and pulls four 100-dollar bills out of her purse. She walks over to her desk and pulls an envelope and a piece of paper out of the top drawer. Auntie folds the money in the paper, slides it into the envelope, seals it, and attaches two stamps. She stares down at the envelope and large tears stain the paper.

"I'ma monster." She mumbles as more teardrops fall. As I watch her cry, I shivered. It's so cold! I push open the door to her room and the penetrates my skin. Auntie doesn't lift her head, as if she is too deep in her thoughts to notice my presence. I walk over to her and pry the letter from her hand, rip it open, and put the money in her hand.

"You too nice and people be usin' you. We need heat." I tell her in my most grown-up voice. I go to the desk and pull out another envelope and paper and grab a red pen out of the cup holder. In my most careful cursive, I write in big letters: FUCK YOU BITCH. Auntie gasps beside me, but I don't flinch as I carefully fold the letter and put it in the envelope. I copy the address from the other envelope and place two of the last stamp from the book on it.

"We gotta take care and live our life. Fuck'em."

"Fuck'em..." she drawls. Then she smiles. "It's time to start livin' my got damned life."

*******

"Babe, we are home," Bram says as he lightly jostled my shoulder. I look around and see we are in front of the house and Bram is on the passenger's side, trying to coax me out of the car. He takes my hand and pulls me toward the house, and I grab my purse and follow him.

"You were knocked out, baby," Bram says as he smiles down at me and motions me through the front door. I grin at him and then frown as I think about the dream. We take our shoes off at the door before flopping on the sofa. "Any new dreams?"

"Actually," I pause before I speak. I'm not sure what the dream means, but Bram if I say something even slightly negative about Auntie, Bram assumes the worst about her. He always does. Most people who meet Auntie love, Bram included, but after we got married and he learned more about my past with Mama and stepdaddy, Bram felt Auntie should have been stronger and stood up for her sister. Auntie knew stepdaddy was beating mama, but she did nothing to stop it, and he feels as if she lived a normal life after mama's murder. No, I'm not telling him.

"I dreamed about a corkscrew, copper-haired baby," I said with a sly smile. Bram beamed. We were walking in the park with an old-school stroller, and the baby's face was obscured by this old-school rattle it was waving around. I couldn't tell boy or girl, to be honest."

Bram lifts the hem of my shirt up a few inches as I lean back on the armrest. He tenderly kisses my abdomen before laying his ear on my belly.

"Hey there little one, it's Dad. I can't wait to meet you." Brams says to my abdomen as I play with his hair. A little guilt from lying touches my thoughts, but I dismiss them. Not yet. Bram and I lie like that for a few more moments be for he gets up to take a shower. While I have a moment of privacy, I conference video call my sisters, and they answer immediately.