Issues || Shoni and Clexa

Fourteen

Shelby slowly turns her head towards Lexa sun blearing in her eyes. Shelby reaches a hand up to shade her eyes. A shadow cast over Lexa just like Shelby wanted a shadow to fall over the truth, keep it in the dark forever.

While giving Lexa a curt nod to signify she could sit Shelby shuffled over making room in the rock for the other girl.

Then Shelby drew her eyes back to the crashing waves in front of them. All of a sudden it felt like the sun was scorching her skin, melting away at her mask she wore so well.

The two girls sat quietly for a while taking in the horizon. Lexa had never been to the beach before but now that she had she was 100% sure it was the most magical place she had ever been.

"You good?" Lexa finally asked breaking the still silence that had swept over them. Shelby didn't turn to look at Lexa instead she bowed her head as if hiding from the power of the ocean, the power Lexa obviously had over her.

You see the question was innocent, simply a fiend asking another friend if they're okay. The thing is thought Lexa and Shelby aren't friends, acquaintances maybe but friends no.

Shelby knows this, Shelby knows that Lexa does care about her so to speak but only in the sense that she doesn't want to see Toni hurt.

And in a way Shelby respects this, Lexa would literally be willing to die for someone she loves. Shelby doesn't even know if she'd be able to speak up for a perso she loves for fear of judgment from the world around her.

"Look, I know you and I don't always see eyes to eye." Lexa begins in a monotone voice as if she is in a meeting negotiating the terms of some big deal. Shelby had never seen Lexa show any big emotions except that one time at the skate park.

And of course when she's with Clarke. Lexa is an observer, Shelby knows this because she is too. Every time Clarke talks Lexa's eyes light up and see watched Clarke like she is soaking in every word she is saying. It's the most beautiful thing Shelby has ever seen and she always wishes she could feel like that, but she can't.

"But I love Toni and I know you at least like her as a person to have put up with her for this long." Shelby let's put a small laugh and nods acknowledging Lexa for the first time but still making sure not to look at her.

"I get that the world is cruel and scary and everyone experiences it in a different way and has their own struggles but you have to know that's not an excuse for any sort of hate."

At her words Shelby feels the need to defend herself for what feels like the billionth time. "There's no hat-"

"No i know 'there's no hate if your heart' cause Jesus says you can't hate others but the hate you feel isn't for Toni or me, or people like us. It's the idea of what you are."

Shelby shook her head getting frustrated at Lexa's words, she didn't need a speech to realise who she is or why it's ok.

Shelbys never read the bible literally nor has it ever actually said that being gay is a son in the bible but Shelby can't let her father down and associating with people like Toni and Lexa would let him down.

Shelby gets up to leave but Lexa grabs her aril pulling her back down. "Shelby, I'm not saying your a lesbian, I'm not even saying your gay. I'm just saying that the hate you have comes from somewhere and trust me I know how it feels to hate others because of the hate you have for yourself."

Lexa takes a breath as if gathering her thoughts "Acceptance of anything is hard especially depending on a persons up bringing and family life..."

"It's not- it's not me, it's" Shelby dropped her gaze to her fidgeting hands in her lap. "I don't know how to act if not to act in the shadow of my father." She whispered praying that maybe just maybe Lexa wouldn't hear.

Lexa did hear and was quiet for a moment before saying. "Don't you think we all deserve to be able to love freely and fully without hang reservations?"

Shelby looked at her blankly.

After that Lexa got up she knew she had said what needed to be said and now she wanted to spend what little time she had left at the beech with Clarke.

Lexa begun her trek back to Clarke and the group.

"How'd it go?" Clarke yelled from her spot on the sand where she'd been waiting for Lexa to get back.

Lexa smiled as made her way over. "Alright, I think it'll all be okay now." Lexa said once she made it to Clarke.

Both girls turned their gaze to the blonde girl sitting up on the rock head bowed, hair billowing in the wind.

"Come sit" Clarke said pulling Lexa from her trance. Clarke sat up straighter and pat her lap signifying for Lexa to take a seat there.

Lexa accepted willing smiling as she sat, leaning into the warmth of Clark. Clarke gave her a peck on the check and Lexa's smile grew impossibly wider.

They stayed like that for the next few hours, then they moved into the water at first just relaxing then Toni joined them and they ended up in a splashing game.

It was definitely the best day of Lexa's life. So by the time they made it back onto the bus, she was drained.

Right before she fell asleep on Clarkes shoulder she noticed Shelby take a seat next to Toni.

a/n: welcome back to my 2 monthly update I PROMISE ILL UPDATE MORE NOW I hope you like this chapter it was a bit of a filler but it's setting up some good stuff I swear stay turned for next chapter you'll definitely like it 😉