Love Begins Behind The Rainbow

Chapter 9: Am I Not Enough?

   I wish if I'am dreaming, I don't want to wake up anymore. Never in wildest dreams, that I can now I have the man on my side, who are willng to be with me, accept who I'am, and considered as his life. Our love, was like a rainbow, before its appear in the sky and spread vibrant colors. It'll need to takes time just to saw it, rains and shines are vital just to create this kind of scenery. I thought, our love will last forever, I never assumed that like of the other fairy tales, there is no one who will come out way and destroyed the strong foundation between me, and Nigel that we have built. I have read disperate books about love story and all of those books has its own character/s that will make the main character suffered or do anything harmful just to stop and break their relationship of the main characters. I didn't anticipate that because that was only a story who have been written by the imaginations of its author. But I was wrong!

   Nigel, was working in a company and he is doing alright about his choosen job. One day, he called me saying: "you know what, your bestfriends Louisa is applying here in the company that I'am working on". Wow, that's nice! good for her now I am confident and assured that you'll not cheating me. He just  laughed at during your calls on the phone. "I won't do that to you cause you're my one only love of my life. He sweetly added. So, be cautious with your moves in that company cause somebody watching over you. She is very vigilant I guess! I just laughed.

   I was surprised that time, that Louisa has already found a job that'll suit to her skills and capability. I was very proud of my best friend because she can be able to showcase everything that she has. Nigel and Louisa excel in their respective field, actually they were a good tandem in verything that they do. Because oftentimes their Boss gave them a not only difficult tasks but colossal. Days, weeks, months, and years have passed by. And I have observed the good relationships to them as partners on work. And I am very happy because I saw them working professional and competing, to much envy aren't on their vocabulary. I congratulate, them for being a productive employees. I saw something different from Nigel's face as we go out sometimes for a date. I asked him, " Why you're so delighted?. Ahh..it's just because I have a co-worker who have been good to me, a benevolent woman. Woman?..Are you talking my best friend Louisa? Yahh..yahhh.. absolutely!

   I was very happy that time, and a little jealous because it's our date and yet we talking about my best friend Louisa. That time, was a little bit disappointed to me, so that I decide to go home instead. Nigel, brought me back in our house, and he couldn't made to enter to our house and visited my parents inside. He immediately, leave the gate as we are standing, we say goodbye to each other. That night was cold too, that's way swiftly entered the door and closed it afterwards.

   I  proceeded to my room, I laid down thinking and scared at the same. Questions start to accumulating in my head. What ifs Nigel developed with my best friend, since almost everyday that they were together. I can't sleep that night, I was talking and continue overthinking with regards to this nonsense issue that I don't have any basis that Louisa and Nigel can do. The next morning came, and I my quality of sleep isnt good but I need to fix myself and prepare not only mentally bit holistically. Because it is my first day of applying in a job. It's been almost a year since I graduated college, and I want to seek for a job so that I can be able to help my family and save money for my future.

   Luckily, I was hired and accepted to job that I'am applying for. And what a coincidence, I saw Ezra applying for that company and he was fortunate cause he was hired too. I told this moment to Nigel, and like him, he was surprised and because I have now a job. And not only that I told him as well that Ezra and I contemporaneously went to that company and applying for them. Nigel said said: Good to for Harley, my love! But I have a question who is Ezra and when you were talking to him it seems that you happiness is overflowing'?.. Ahhmm. He is a good friend of mine during our College days!. Do I mentioned him to you lately? Noo... not yet! Nigel said. Ohh.. next time love I'll introduce him to you!.. so don't you worry. Okayyy..

   Yes, our careers definitely are doing good. I would say that we are now success and the fruit of hardships finally we are now harvesting it. I didn't notice that Nigel's birthday is all around the corner it was September and it is on 19th day to be exact. The cold weather and very time the winds blowing, I feel the coldeness of slowly missing the fire of our love. I asked him if it is okay to celebrate his birthday intemately so that I can be able to express, show my true feelings to him and how important he was into my life. He refused it, and said why? He said that, you don't have to do this Harley, it is such a waste of time. From then I feel so worthless, and starting asking myself where do I go wrong? Is there something I did against him? Deep inside I can really assure that I put my hundred percent efforts just to love and treat him, considered him the most important than to my life. I went to his house, it was a dark, lighting and thunder as well as the heavy rains flowing to my body didn't stop me to see him. I just wanted to know of why his love is not like before, we need to save our relationships no matter what happens.

   I knocked the door, no one is responding but I did it many times until someone else open the door. I was crying in the midst of cold and dark sorroundings. Until I have decided to give up and surrender. I was sitting on the highway nearby our house when my mom saw me like a weak chick. She comforted me and bring home, give some warm drinks so that coldness I feel will reduce. I can't speak up, and cry all night. My mom was alarmed on my mannerism and all she did is look after me through out the night.