The Grey Zone (Black Noir / The Boys Fan Fic)

Ch 32 Holding it Together

Warm water trickled over her limp shoulders. The rising wisps of steam provided little solace. Once again, she found herself in the shower attempting to wash away the night's events.

Jess didn't know what disturbed her more; What happened to Berrie-Lee, what happened to the target or the thought that The Agency - her employers - were involved in some seriously nefarious clientele.

Her tired knees found the floor, letting the water continue to rain over her. A sullen tear blended into the dancing drops from above. Mental exhaustion started to take hold, but the action was only just beginning.

After escorting her home, Black Noir lingered in her apartment. The distant sound of the shower teased him. Knowing she was only a few steps away, completely unbound, was torturous for him. His blurred code of ethics wouldn't allow him to barge through the door, so he limited himself to imagining her actions behind the fogged glass.

He knew Jess was a little out of sorts, but he didn't fully understand why.

She was silent on the way back to her apartment, not just vocally, everything about her was muted. Black Noir noted that her eyes showed little sign of life, as if what she saw that night had taken a piece from inside her. Each footstep she took looked taxing and Noir struggled to understand how the mental turmoil she faced had affected her on such a physical level.

Worn out and completely spent, she simply wanted to go home and Black Noir wanted to make sure she got there safely.

Once upon a time, Jess would have been horrified by the idea of a supe helping her home and entering her apartment, but it appeared to be a somewhat regular occurrence these days. Noir knew that she didn't have the energy to hold up a barrier anymore. Especially not now.

The sudden sound of clattering pipes alerted him to the water shutting off. He hurried back to the main living space, not wanting to be caught pressed up against the bathroom door.

On the other side of the door, Jess lifted herself up and took a heavy step out of the shower. Even reaching for a towel felt like a strenuous exercise. Steam covered the mirror, giving her only an obscured insight into her appearance. Hopefully, the blood had been thoroughly washed away.

Fluffy white cotton hugged her close as Jess wrapped a towel around her soaked body. In a bid to remove any lasting taste of vomit, she quickly brushed her teeth; the one last act of self-kindness she had the energy for. Clean but still feeling impure, Jess stood still making no effort to dry herself. She closed her eyes as droplets of water trailed down her naturally. A small pool of water collected at her feet as she stared back at the fogged mirror, thankful that she didn't have to look her reflection in the eye.

She needed to figure out her next steps but she was too exhausted. The evening had gone from a euphoric high to a spiralling low. The short-lived hope she felt when smiling up at Black Noir was dashed upon experiencing the gory reality of their evening.

Assuming Black Noir had already made his exit, Jess left her bathroom still only wearing a towel. Wet hair fell loose over her shoulders and down her back, slowly absorbed by the cotton. The sudden change in temperature upon opening the door gave her goosebumps as she left the sanctuary of her steamy bathroom.

The sight of her had Black Noir entranced. As he peered into the corridor from the living space, he couldn't help but devour her half-dressed state.

The feeling of eyes burning into her provoked Jess to turn.

"Shit! You're still here."

Noir was evidently taken aback by her comment.

"No, no sorry, that came out wrong. I just - I thought you would leave straight away," she paused, tired and not ready to dig herself out of another crisis, "But I'm glad you didn't"

The words fell out of her mouth almost tapering to a whisper, but Black Noir heard them. Perhaps she wouldn't have been so candid had she not been in such an exhausted state.

Now Black Noir was pleased with himself. He'd gone from breaking and entering, to becoming a welcome guest. In his world, everything was still going to plan. In Jess' world, everything was falling apart.

She now had to find out what ties their target had to The Agency, smooth things over with Chrissy - again, and she also had the seemingly impossible task of tracking down Phil's stalker before he self-sabotaged himself into oblivion.

Jess walked out of the shadows of the hallway, forgetting her scantily-clad appearance.

Black Noir stiffened his posture at the sight of her approaching. He remained in place by the fridge, where Jess had used magnetic letters to spell out 'ANNWANTSAHALO'. His fingers twitched, considering spelling out something of his own. But what could he possibly say in this situation to solve a problem he didn't fully understand?

He took a sharp breath inwards. It wasn't often that he would lose his cool, but he had no idea what Jess was approaching him for. The feeling was alien to him. For once, he was unsure of what was expected of him. He turned to the letters on the fridge, hoping that clawing his eyes away from her barely covered body would allow him to focus once again.

The apartment remained still around them. Light from the bathroom emanated from the doorway. In her shock of seeing Noir Jess had forgotten to flip the switch. As she tiptoed closer to the silent supe, she inched away from the light and into the darkness.

When she arrived next to Black Noir, her lips curled inwards. In her exhausted state she thought the letters on the fridge displayed something else, something perhaps Noir had written, but that was probably wishful thinking.

Whether it was intuition or tiredness, she double glanced at the letters.

Noir was trying to hold his gaze on the fridge door too. Standing next to someone he craved, who wore nothing more than a wet towel, was bigger than the challenges he'd faced at the hand of Vought. As Jess was getting closer and he could see her dripping hair in his peripheral vision. Sweet, soapy, waves penetrated his mask as the freshly-cleaned woman came closer. He held his breath, hoping to hold onto her scent.

A subtle twinge in his bicep caused his muscles to tense as he sensed her hand reaching out. Was his longing finally over? Was she about to accept him?

Jess was completely unaware of the alarm she was causing Black Noir, as her hand brushed past his arm and continued forward to the fridge door. The cold plastic letters met her warm, wet hands.

With one hand clutching her towel and the other frantically rearranging the letters, something new began to take shape.

ANNWANTSAHALO

became

NA NWAN SA THA LO

Which then became

NATHA NWA L SON

Which finally became

NATHAN LAWSON.

"It was in front of me the whole time."