Love On Fire (Book 2) - DISCONTINUED!

Tub

*Trigger Warning*

"You sure?" Matt asks for the millionth time as he holds his tie up to his white button-up shirt that is tucked under his belt.

"Yes! You can go to work, angel." I breathe out with a small chuckle as I look up at him from my position on the kitchen counter.

"It's just you haven't been alone since Russia, and-" He starts to ramble as he slips his red-tinted glasses onto his nose.

"I'm not gonna go on a killing spree, relax." I joke in an airy voice causing Matt to part his lips and tilt his head to the side before walking up to me, and placing a hand on my cheek.

"That's not what I meant. I'm just having a hard time reading you lately." He whispers, his lips tipping downward at me and thumb rubbing my cheek.

"I'm fine, Foggy's on his way to pick you up." I remind him to try to change the subject, which he clearly catches on to.

"I know he's outside waiting," Matt says lowly and mindlessly as he stands there for a moment longer, his lips parted and warm hands rubbing my skin.

"Than go," I tell him with a soft laugh causing a smile to stretch onto his lips.

"Kicking me out of my own home?" Matt asks with a playful grin causing me to kiss his lips quickly before pulling back to see his annoyed face at my fast peck. 

"Go before Foggy loses his shit, he's got news to tell you," I tell him, pushing his chest signaling for him to not keep Foggy waiting.

"You got control of your powers again?" Matt queries with furrowed brows at my statement making me sigh and stare at my veiny arms.

"Comes and goes," I say bleakly as I adjust myself onto the cool countertop. Matt simply nods and pats down his shirt before grabbing his keys and walking stick.

"Love you, see you after work." Matt hums before leaning in and giving me a longer-than-normal kiss on the lips.

"I love you too," I say once we break apart. Matt stays standing for a moment longer, his eyes facing me through his glasses before he licks his lips and opens the door, leaving me for the day.

Once I know he's exited the building my smile slowly fades from my face and my posture sinks, my shoulders slightly forward and back hunched as a feeling of emptiness consumes me.

Pushing myself off the counter I wrap my arms around myself and walk sluggishly towards Matt's bed. Closing all the shades before crawling into bed and pulling the blanket over myself, despite today's weather being nearly 100 degrees. 

✰✰✰

Ache flood my dreams as the blood of hundreds are coated over my skin. The blood of those I've killed to save myself from captivity. But doubt seeps into my mind, questions repeating themselves constantly, suffocating me until I am the one who was dead.

"What if they were forced to be there under Maxim's rule?"

"What if I killed innocents?"

"Am I justifiable?"

"Am I a killer?"

"What if I were the monster?"

These questions awaken me in a cold sweat, the room already dark and empty meaning Matt hasn't arrived home yet. My eyes are sore and my face is wet from my tears due to my crowded mind. My mind that I just want to drain, my mind that I can't live with for another moment.

Taking in broken-up breaths I sit up, holding my fast-beating chest as I let out a sob. Avi's yells blaring at me, the word 'monster' never escaping until I mindlessly start to walk.