Going Home

Part 2

The ride to my apartment felt like a dream. I stared out the window as the buildings passed us unable to form any words. Tears still threatening to appear, I was damned if I would let them. At the stop light, I saw a woman holding her baby with her husband, they were happy, smiling, and laughing. I sighed at the sight thinking I was happy I never had to be that woman. I was pissed that I had to leave the partnership and go back to Montana.

Tabatha kept talking to me telling me my itinerary while I stared. No emotion, nothing. He was gone. The man who taught me everything was gone. We pulled up to my apartment overlooking the bay I stood outside taking in the air before heading in to pack. Deep breaths. Boston you're going to have to wait for me. I put my hands in my pockets and my head down and went inside.

I packed enough for a week. I wasn't going to be stuck there for any longer than I had to be.

"Tabatha, I will need to you go to the bank for me and transfer some money from my savings. I plan on paying for my father's funeral."

"OK, I can go as soon as we are done here."

"I also want to have a full report on the case tomorrow, send it FedEx, I will only be there a week but I need to stay on top of things."

"Also, I can't get in touch with Brent, I'm sure he's in court or with a client, I'll need you to tell him what's happened and give him my itinerary."

I could see Tabatha purse her lips together at me in disapproval but she kept writing. She always said I never let people in, I was a robot. I never told her I let too many people in when I lived in Montana and I got hurt. Leaving there was the best thing I ever did, now going back, I was terrified. I had to stay numb, focused unreachable. This was for my Father, the only other man I ever truly loved besides Luke.

As I boarded the plane I noticed my phone buzzing again, a number I didn't recognize.

"Delila Wilks"

"Del, it's Ben."

"Hey, Ben."

"Del, I'll be picking you up in Billings, thought you could use the company."

"Oh, ok I can get a car no need to fuss Ben."

"Del, you're coming home, I know you need me to pick you up."

Those fucking tears again, stop dammit. I'm stronger than this.

"Del, you there?"

"Ok, I'm boarding see you soon."

I hung up without saying goodbye and took my seat in first class. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes hoping the tears I was fighting would go away. I remembered the last words my father said to me they were full of sadness, anger, and mostly disappointment. He never wanted me to go to Harvard and become a lawyer he wanted me to help run the farm. I couldn't though. I couldn't stay in a town that had sucked everything out of me and left me wanting more. Everyone knew everyone's business, and no one did anything with their lives. They just sucked the life out of each other like vampires.

Once the plane was in the air the flight attendant tapped my shoulder asking me if I wanted a drink.

"Yes, please. Chardonnay please."

"Sure, thing sweetie." she replied.

The wine went down smooth, I could feel my cheeks getting warm. I needed it. Where I was going I was probably going to need something stronger. I stared out the window as the thoughts entered my mind of Luke. I always wondered how he was, where he was, what became of him. Whenever my mother called she never spoke of him. I had done a Facebook search for him but there was nothing. Who was I kidding, he hated that stuff. I just have to remember he broke me.

My father loved Luke like a son. He blamed me for all our issues saying I was never happy with what I had in front of my face. Well, he was half right but Luke had his demons too. I sighed and shifted in my seat waving down the flight attendant one more time.

"Can I get another please?"

"Oh Sweetie, is it that bad?"

I stared at her with daggers in my eyes.

"The flight, are you scared of flying sweetie?"

I softened when I realized she wasn't talking about my Father, Luke, Montana, or the four empty glasses in front of me.

"Oh, um no, a funeral, drowning my sorrows." I quickly turned away because if I looked at her any longer those tears that were knocking on my heart were about to pour through.

She sat another glass down for me and put her hand on my shoulder.

"Going home is hard, but going home when someone isn't there anymore is harder. Put your belt on sweetie we're landing soon."