Going Home

Part 3

Every drink of the wine felt so good going down. With every sip, I could feel my worries slip into the darkness. Forgetting this day was happening was what I wanted. The plane started to descend and so did those feelings of regret, sadness, anxiety, and anger. Why did he have to die? Didn't he know I was about to make a partner and finally make him proud? I looked out the window as the plane touched down, turning back to my wine in hand I felt those tears trying to escape again.

"Sweetheart, I'm really sorry for your loss. Time heals all wounds. Welcome to Billings."

I gave a half-smile to the flight attendant and handed her my glass. I grabbed my makeup bag out of my purse and checked my appearance. I dabbed on some lip gloss and fluffed my hair before grabbing my bag, I took a deep breath looked at the lights of Billings, and walked off the plane.

Walking off the plane I looked around for Ben but I didn't see him. I made my way to baggage claim in a mindless fog. Would I recognize Ben? It's been so long. He was one of my closest friends until I left then he chose Luke. I guess I can't blame him if I was stuck here I would have chosen the familiar over me as well. I closed everyone off when I left. The pain was too much. I dug my heels in, as they say.

I finally arrived at the baggage claim. I watched the bags go round and round I could feel the six glasses of wine swirling in my head. I slightly giggled. I can't remember when I was this tipsy. I was always in so much control, so much that Brent my current boyfriend got mad at me. He wanted me to "let go" once in a while. I was so focused on being the best at what I did I stopped living and listening to anyone except myself.

My bag finally appeared as I went to grab it I stumbled pulling it off the belt. That's when I heard a familiar voice.

"Hey big city, let me get that for you. " he leaned down and took my bag looking back at me, and winked. He was gruff and handsome he had a beard and he was wearing a cowboy hat. He put out his hand as I stared at him.

"You didn't forget your best friend did you big city?"

"Ben, I ... I'm sorry I ..." my voice trailed off.

" You smell like the flight was good. Here big city take my hand. I'm parked just outside. "

I took his hand and followed him to a ram 2500 parked outside the doors of the baggage claim while still staring at him not saying a word. He opened the passenger door and instantly the smell of leather and Copenhagen came heaving at me. Throwing me back in time.  

I remembered an easier time when I was with my Dad driving down the back roads of Montana. The windows were down and the winds were blowing through our hair Alabama was on the radio. He let me drive that day so he could drink a beer on our way home. I smiled to myself at the memory.

I was jarred from my thoughts when the door shut. Ben hopped in the drivers seat and looked at me with caring eyes.

"Dels, I'm real sorry about your Dad."

" Thank you." was all I could say. It was like I was still numb and couldn't believe I was here.

We drove in silence for a while I stared out the window I was content not talking. I heard Ben clear his throat.

"Dels, we need to talk."

I looked at him like he was foreign to me. Couldn't he just be quiet?

I sighed and put my head down.

"What about?"

"A lot has changed since you left. I just want you to be prepared. That's why I came to get you."

"I'm sure this old town hasn't done that much changing." I laughed.

There was quiet in the truck and then Ben pulled over abruptly.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Dels, I know you think you're some high and mighty lawyer who doesn't need to be here because you don't have time for family anymore. But I picked you up to tell you to get off your fucking high horse."

I glared at him not saying a word. What could I say I knew I was holding a grudge.

"I'm telling you, you're not the only one who got hurt. Things have changed and you better be prepared to deal with them."

" Like what Ben? Is Luke back? "

"Dels"

"Is he? Tell me is he back?"

"Dels, Luke never left you."

I felt the storm in my stomach begging to come out. Those tears pricking the corners of my eyes. They all blamed me.

He pulled off the median and drove on. I stayed quiet. He never left me was burned into my head.

As we pulled into Stray Falls, Ben was right nothing looked the same. There were new shops opened on Main Street and trucks lined up at a new honkytonk called The Brand J. It was vibrant. Alive. It wasn't how I remembered it. I saw billboards for D&W cattle the largest in Montana. My Dads use to be the largest. I guess times had changed.

I could almost hear Bens smile while looking at me.

"Pretty impressive huh?"

"I guess."

"Come on big city, pull that stick out of your ass and admit it's impressive."

I sighed a half smile at him, "Ok, it is."

He shoved my shoulder lightly and smiled "By the time you get ready to go that stick will be gone big city."

We got past town and pulled to a very familiar road where another D&W Cattle billboard was.

"Who is this D&W Cattle?" I asked Ben.

He just smiled and stared ahead as we pulled down my family's long driveway.

"Ben?"

"Your mom can explain everything to you. Like I said Dels, a lot has changed."

We came to a stop at my family's big white farmhouse. The porch wrapped around the house, and plants were hanging from it. The porch furniture was arranged so that there could be a party out there if we wanted. It was cozy. I looked over to my right and my tree swing was still hanging in the chestnut tree out front that cascaded over the house. The yard lights were lit so we knew they were home. I hopped out of the truck and took a deep breath.

Ben grabbed my bag from the back of his truck and headed toward the house. I heard my Mothers voice at the door before I saw her face. I twisted my hands together fighting those same tears, swallowed my pride, and walked towards the steps.