Going Home

Part 10

The barn had changed so much since I was here last. It was huge, no it was grand. When I walked in I saw an office area to my right with open windows that over looked the Inside of the barn. Just past the office were stairs that lead to a door. I didn't go up there but it looked like it could be sleeping quarters. I decided to go back to the office and see where my Dad sat.

I walked in and I could smell Luke instantly. The clothes he had changed out of from last night were draped across his chair. His desk was full of papers and a computer in the corner of it. I sat in his chair feeling the cool leather. I bit my lip as I ran my hands down the side of the chair. My eyes darted up to a picture on the wall of my Father and Luke smiling in front of a D&W Cattle Co. Sign. Then it dawned on me Downing and Wilks he and my father were in business together. I leaned my head back not sure what I thought. I looked back down at Luke's desk and the only picture on his desk was one of him and two little girls. One looked about ten the other maybe four. My heart stopped. Oh my God. Not only did he cheat on me he had kids with Margo too? I felt tears trying to come back up but I was damned if I was going to let them this time.

I slammed my boot into his desk and pushed myself back from his desk. Just as I did it a ranch hand was walking by, " Oh hey Delila. I didn't know you were out here. " he took off his hat to me.

I smiled at him standing up, "Yea I need a horse saddled up can you do that for me?"

"Sure, but..." I cut him off before he get the rest out "but what, we don't have horses anymore? I need a fast one"

I was pissed. I'd let Luke fuck me and break me all over again what was I thinking?

" Yes ma'am." Without any more hesitation, he ran off to get my horse.

He brought around a large black and white Appaloosa male horse named Hank Williams. I instantly smiled. I could feel that wildness coming back to me.

He handed me the reins with a little hesitation," I don't think Luke is going to like me handing over Hank Williams to you ma'am."

I hopped up on Hank Williams and looked at the handsome boy with a side smile, " he doesn't have to know." I pushed up on the saddle, cued Hank Williams, and off we went running down the driveway. I heard my mother yell something from the porch but I just kept pounding the gravel feeling the air blowing my ponytail back. I felt free. Hank Williams loved it too he needed a good run he was a horse that needed to be free like me.

We ran until I noticed the same road Luke took me took the day before so I slowed Hank down and turned him down the trail. We came up to the same spot Luke stopped at with his truck and the memory came flooding back to me. I felt myself clenching the saddle with my thighs at the thought of him. I slowed Hank to a stop by the river and tied him to get some water. I needed some water too it was hot. I took off my boots and jeans and let my top drop to the ground Hank huffed at me.

"Oh yea? Well, no one can see me Hank so there." I stuck my tongue out at him and walked out into the river. I let the river wash over me like a baptism as I laid back floating for a while looking up at the sky. My heart was aching for Luke.

Memories of that night I found Luke with Margo filled my head. We had been arguing about me going clear across the country to school. He wanted me to stay but I was determined to prove to my Dad and everyone in this town I was better than them. I remember crying so hard in my mother's arms she told me to go to him and tell him I had changed my mind, and I had. I was going to stay, I was going to stay and go to school closer for him. When I got to Luke's house that night I knocked but no one answered because the music was too loud. He was having a party.  We just had the worst fight ever and he was getting drunk. I searched the entire house for him but when I finally opened his bedroom door and found him laying face down on the bed and Margo rubbing his shoulder in just a t-shirt, his t-shirt I lost it.

I remember him stumbling out of the bed to me saying it's not what you think, it's not what you think. Margo's smirk was forever embedded in my memory. All I could say was you broke us you broke me. He looked so hurt his eyes were glazed over the last words he said to me," no, I just helped you pack your bags."

I fell backward and held my heart it was as if a thousand knives had cut me open that day. I never looked back, I never took his calls, and I haven't been home since.