Melancholia

Remnants 27 - Fantasy Love

Have you ever thought that sometimes love is not permanent and it always changes? Well, sometimes I believe it, and sometimes I don't.

Hi! My name is Miguel, and this is my love story of someone that I know for a very long time.

When I was in primary school, I was just a kid that wants to study hard to get a better future. I have a lot of friends there, but when I'm going forward to high school, everything changes when everyone I know went to a different high school. Still, I found them on social media and follow them there to see what they're doing.

From all of that, there's one of my friends that went to the same high school as me, and her name is Natalie. She's my classmate when I was in Standard 6, and from there we started to become best friends. When I asked her about what high school she will go to, I'm surprised that she will go to the same high school that I will go to. It's because she lives near to that high school, and so do I.

When we're in Form 1, we're being separated because I received a Computer stream class, while she received a Design stream class. When Natalie is in that class, she's befriended 2 people, which is Hailey and Samson. The three become best friends for 3 years because they all are in the same class for those periods of years. How about me you're wondering? Well, I still befriended Natalie and we always met each other in one subject class. In those years, I also befriended many friends as well. For Hailey and Samson, I started to befriend them when I was in Form 4. We all then become best friends soon after.

When I'm in Form 5, I don't know why and how, but I started to have some feelings for Natalie. I know, it's crazy because no one knows about it and I didn't tell anyone about it, including Natalie. I started to wonder how to stop those feelings, but somehow I can't seem to stop it. Whenever I see or meet Natalie, I feel comfortable with her, maybe because we're become best friends for so long.

I've been keeping this feeling for so long now, and I think to tell her the truth, but some of me tell me to not tell her my feelings first and just focus on studying since I have the final exam to determine my future.

One day, Samson tells Hailey, Natalie, and me that he has a second girlfriend. Wait, second?! Yes, second. All of us know about his first girlfriend, and her name is Selena, but later on, they're breaking up. We are all really happy with Samson and hope he can be better with her. He didn't inform us anything about his second girlfriend's name, but he only said to us that we'll meet her soon enough.

Everything went well, until one day a situation of this day changes everything in my whole life.

Two days before Christmas day, my friend Hailey asked me a weird question on social media. She asked me a question that make me too stunned to speak.

Hailey asked me, "Do you like Natalie?", and I didn't even know what to say to her and why did she asked me that question. I want to tell her the truth, but I don't want to. So, I just tell her, "Yes, but as a friend, not beyond that." Hailey then just send an eye emoji and our conversation ended. Since then, she didn't ask me about it anymore and I still wondering why she asked that question to me.

The next day, Natalie put up a video on status showing like a happy song with Samson pictures. I didn't think too much about it, I just think that video was special for her best friend, Samson, since she had always communicated with him for 5 years in high school.

But then, something worst happened and then I realized why Hailey asked that question to me back in the day...

On Christmas day at midnight, we all send a wish of Merry Christmas to Samson since he celebrated it in our group chat. When Natalie wish him Merry Christmas, Samson replied to her message by saying, "Thank you, darling!". I'm shocked to see that message like you don't even know how shocked I am to see that message. Soon after, Hailey said, "Ooh, looks like someone cares about you!". I neither said nor reply soon after that because of how shocked I am witnessing that chat.

The next day, I saw Samson send status on social media where he sent a screenshot of someone finishing up a quiz with kind of a good mark. On the status, he said, "How in the world is she so good in this? I'm proud of you, baby! Maybe I should start to study hard after this since I left behind from you." He didn't reveal who is she, but I know who is she based on the experience previously and the quiz marks. It's Natalie, but why do I'm sure it's Natalie? Well, Natalie is like the smartest student in her class and she sometimes scores well on her exam as I do, so that's why I know that marks and the girl Samson means is Natalie.

Again, I'm stunned to speak. "Is Natalie Samson's new girlfriend?", I thought. "That's impossible, but how?", again I thought.

And now, I know what's the reason...

Natalie has been so close with Samson for so long. They both are in the same class back when they're in Form 1 until Form 3. Then, when they're Form 4, Natalie is in Account class with Hailey, while Samson is in Design class with me. But still, every time Samson will always go to Natalie's class to have a chat with her. Little that I didn't know, Samson might actually like Natalie, and so do Natalie to Samson as well. I mean, Natalie always communicate with Samson rather than me, they became best friends since we're in primary school.

And also one day during our meeting, Natalie is muted because she's going out meeting her mother, while left there are Samson, Hailey, and I. I was muted too, but then I heard a conversation between Samson and Hailey talking about his relationship with Natalie. I heard he's talking with Hailey in another language that I didn't understand, but I could understand a bit of what they said.

Samson to Hailey that his mother found out about his relationship with Natalie. His mother asked him to just befriend her, and not much more than that. What shocked me is I heard that Samson said to Hailey that he disagree with his mother's suggestion. Now, it's confirmed! Samson has a relationship with Natalie, and I already knew it because of how his conversation with Natalie is different from before.

From that on, I feel so heartbroken to see and think about it. Looks like an English idiom "the ship has sailed away" has put up an effect on me. I feel so regretful because I didn't tell her the truth about my feelings, and now I lost the chance.

But it's fine for me, as Natalie's best friend, I hope she will be happier with Samson. If she's happy, then I'll be happy for her as well. I hope they will be happier than I do. Maybe this is God's signal to me that I will meet someone much better than her in the future because we as a human just can plan it, but the real planner of our life is God himself. And to be honest, I don't want to become a bad guy or the 3rd person who wants to destroy a relationship just because I want to get someone to love me.

One day, someone came at me and I was shocked it was Natalie. What made me shake is she suddenly said her feelings to me, and I was wondered if I was in a dream or something. Then, I just didn't think about it and confess my feelings to her. Then, somehow she's happy and I'm happy too. Soon after, we become partners, and seems like everything is different. It's like Samson didn't know that he's coupled with Natalie, and Hailey never knew anything about their relationship. It's like...I'm in a dream...in a fantasy love.

Is this all my mind trick? Will I get out from here? Heh, maybe not. I won't gonna go back to my miserable reality. I would like to enjoy this moment together with her, even if this is the last thing I'll ever do.

Meanwhile in reality,

BREAKING NEWS:

A TEENAGER REPORTEDLY PASSED AWAY AFTER HE DIDN'T WAKES UP FOR ALMOST 24 HOURS. THE TEENAGER ALSO REPORTEDLY DIED WITH A SMILING FACE, SEEMS HE'S HAPPY WITH SOMETHING BEFORE HE DIED.