Blade

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The blade shined in the light making the metal look extra shiny. I sat on the toilet admiring how pretty it was before pressing it down to my dark skin and in one fluid movement-

Slice.

And the glistening beauty of the blade was replaced by something else. Blood-

Slice.

 For a moment I feel a sharp pain. The pain of my skin ripping apart and letting my blood leak out-

Slice.

Letting my life force leak out.

Slice.

The moment passes and next I feel empty, worth-less. And I remind myself why I have to do this-

Slice.

Why?

Slice.

Because I have to remind myself, constantly.

Slice.

I am nothing.

I will not forget that.

I will not get above myself.

Slice.  Slice. Slice.

A couple drops of blood fall to the floor. I hear a couple of girls outside my stall giggling.

“Ew.” One says.

“Do you need a tampon?” Another laughs.

I narrow my eyes at the door and draw my hand closer to my chest. I wish looks could kill, ‘cause in my mind they all explode into the little plastic pieces they are.

Their laughs fade and I hear them return to conversation.

I look back at my hand, examining the damage my blade has done.

I feel a sting in my palm, oops. Guess I was holding it too tight. Again.

“She’s such a freak.” I hear the girls say and I know the conversation has returned to me.

Slice.

Lastly I feel nice. The sting of the pain is some-what comforting. Helping. Healing.

I want to feel that again. I want to feel more of it, so-

Slice.

Slice.

This was the last time, I promised myself, last time today.

Slice.

I do once more, as a reminder that I would always find comfort in my blade.

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