Blade (Watty Awards 2013)

Chapter 4

Chapter 4-

I hate it when I’m full as hell and then the cook says “DESERT.”

It’s the word I hate most after dinner. It should be illegal.

Santana sat on the other side of the table glancing at me. I wanted to hold my plate up to cover my face. Instead I just kept kicking her in the shin.

She kept glancing but didn’t say anything.

I have my head down on the table feeling over stuffed and uneasy. My feet swung away under the table.

Desert was a triple chocolate cake.

I nearly fainted when he out a slice in front of me.

Oh sweet baby Jesus. That smells like heaven.

I inhale deeply and reluctantly lift my spoon to take a bite.

Santana smiles and follows my lead. She’s half way there when my mother speaks.

“Ah, Santana hun. If you plan on being a model for Griffin clothes line you’ll need to maintain a certain weight. So that means- No cake.” Mom smiles.

I don’t know why. Who smiles at no cake.

Santana –who didn’t even get a bite of the chocolate goodness- drops her fork and pushes her plate forward. I kick her harder to get her attention, she looks at me and I pick up a huge piece of my fork and shove it in mouth like a pig. I chew happily as she glares at me.

I laugh quietly.

She shakes her head and takes a drink of water.

So Santana was a model for my mother. Ha. Figures. The girl looks like she just walked outta Elle magazine.

She shouldn’t be so pretty. Its unfair to the rest of us. I mean not that I’m trying but yeah, If I was, it would be unfair.

I wished I had a hood to cover my head. Gosh I hated being seen, even more so now with miss goddess in the room.

Mom soon shunned me to my room and went into the family room with Mr. David and Santana to further discuss her contract.

I didn’t mind. I liked being in my room, though the pain of being referred to as a mongrel by my mother hurt.

I laid in bed planning on being sick tomorrow so I wouldn’t have to go to school.

I began to cry. Slowly at first then louder and harder.

I bet Santana is just waiting to tell everyone what a freak I am. As if Laruen hasn’t already.

I’ve been going to this school for six months now and I hardly had any outbreaks. I bet Santana and Laruen are gonna team up and torment me until I do have an outburst.

I cried and hit myself in the head desperately wanting my blade. I’d have to get up to get it through and I was too lazy for all that. Plus I wouldn’t dare try it knowing that Mom would be in any second to yell at me for mis-behaving in front of company.

As if I wasn’t weird enough. I cried.

“So whats wrong with your daughter?” I picture Santana asking. Her lips perking around her water glass.

“Oh, she has personality disorder.” Mom says like a civilized person like I wish she would.

“Oh.” Mr. David says. “That makes sense.”

Then they all go back to talking about Santana as if it was no big deal.

However I know that’s not how it would all play out.

It would go more like this,

“She’s fucking crazy. I can’t control her.” Mom says. “she’s 14 there’s no reason she should act like this.”

Then Mr.David would scowl. “Have you considered therapy?”

“We do, do therapy. Every week. She has something against the therapist and refuses to talk to her. I don’t know what’s wrong with her. She’s moody. She doesn’t talk to anyone. She has the angry outburst, she doesn’t trust anyone. She has no friends and ugh. I can’t take her sometimes. I have to run away every month just to get some air.”

Mr. David pats her back and looks sympathetic.

Santana says “well I guess the last option is a  zoo”

And then they all laugh at me.

I continued to cry. I cry until I fall asleep dreaming of never waking up.