Secret Secret (Dès Vu Series #1)

Chapter 12

At the age of 3, I began to learn how to be independent. I learned to eat with utensils, to make myself a glass of milk before going to bed, and to clean my bed every morning.

My mother encouraged me to start playing the piano when I was 7 years old. She made me enroll for various classes in order to improve my skills. And when she told me I still wasn't good enough, I practiced the piano all hours of the day and night.

I was 12, when I began taking math and English classes because I did not receive perfect scores in these subjects on my final exam. I didn't want to take those classes, but I didn't have any other option. I just had to do it because I didn't want my parents to be upset, especially my mother.

I am now 16, and I am still trying to work hard for things that I never even wanted in the first place. I'm still looking for my purpose, but I just keep getting lost. However, I also never imagined, that at the age of 16, my marriage was dependent on the decisions of others.

"It's better that we're already planning this, Rafaela. Hindi natin hawak ang hinaharap," Mom said, taking my cold hand in hers.

I didn't say anything because I didn't know what to tell her. I felt like I was already on the verge of something I shouldn't have to face at this age. Well, Marriage is not something a 16-year-old should plan!

"Please, Rafaela, pakibuksan mo na lang ang isip mo..."

Nanlulumo kong binalingan ng tingin si Mom. Gusto kong paniwalaang hindi siya seryoso. Gusto kong isiping hindi ito nangyayari. Gusto kong sabihin niyang nagbibiro lang siya. Pero hindi... She was really serious about it...

"M-Mom..."

The moment my voice broke, tears streamed down my cheeks. Humigpit ang kaniyang kapit sa akin at napabuntong-hininga.

"The Vanueces are our only option here, Rafaela. We should stick to them so we won't fall apart," she said.

Mariin niyang ipinikit ang kaniyang mga mata. "Look... Our firm is becoming unstable due to your father's debt. Marrying Casio will secure everything we have, including the company."

I bit my lip. "B-Because of Dad's... debt?" I asked.

"Pagod na pagod na akong harapin ang mga iyon—"

"So, you will use me?"

Hindi ako makapaniwala.

"I will be the sacrificial lamb. Gagamitin niyo ako para mabayaran ang utang ni Dad. How does marrying Casio pay off all of Dad's debt, Mom?"

Humagulgol ako. Gusto kong umiyak lang nang umiyak. Parang ayaw matanggap ng utak ko ang lahat ng sinabi niya sa akin.

"You see everything is business here—"

"T-Then, I don't want be involve in your business."

Nag-iba kaagad ang timpla ng mukha niya. She then let go of my hand. "Gusto mo bang mawala ang lahat ng ito sayo? Lahat ng pribilehiyong nasa atin? I worked hard for all of this, Rafaela! Kaya ayaw kong dumating ang araw na mawala natin ang lahat ng ito!"

I wanted to speak but it seems like I just lost my voice. Patuloy pa rin sa bagsak ang mga luha ko.

"Hindi ko kakayaning makitang bumagsak ang lahat. Hindi ko matatanggap na mawala ko lang ang lahat ng mga pinagpaguran ko sa loob ng ilang taon. Kaya pakiusap, Rafaela... Listen to me."

-

"Raf, did you hear what I said?"

When someone tapped on my shoulder, my senses returned. Nataranta naman kaagad ako.