𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐎𝐌

67| S E S S A N T A-S E T T E

ALESSANDRO'S POV

The sun settles on my face, pulling me far away from sleep and the last bit of peace I get.

I wake up to no Akila next to me, I wake up to not Akila sleeping on my chest, breathing heavily while I play with her soft hair, watching and waiting for her to wake up and kiss me goodmorning, we take our cold shower and do work separately then reunite at the end of the day.

I sigh and push the cover off my body to sit up. I shake my head and mess my hair up, I run my hands through it and mess it even more.

Today is just a normal day, a normal day of waking up without Akila, a normal day of waking up having an older brother from another mother.

Marcello and I haven't talked much after that day, it's only been two days. The thoughts are no longer present, my mind seems to accept it and move on quicker than I thought. In the end, I just found out I have a brother.

It's weird thinking he knew all this long yet I didn't, he would see me walking down the streets, he would watch my car pass by and I didn't know he existed.

It's weird, all of it but I'm living through it because I have no choice. I can't go back in time and tell my pathetic father not to have an affair, not to get a woman pregnant and abandon your child.

There's so many things I want to tell him, to hear him say and I've been delaying it, I've been ignoring facing him, talking to him because at a certain point, I don't care anymore.

How do you expect someone to care about something they've never known what it's like their whole life. It's his life, it's his mistake and not mine. I sure felt robbed, empty after twenty seven years to find out I have a brother who could have been there, could have been there for young Alessandro who wanted a friend, company to distract the loneliness to fill in the presence of his father, the sick and rough way he treated me when I was just a kid.

It also made me think about other things, other rights and deserved. I wondered what it would actually be like to grow up in our world with an older brother, Marcello would be the one training, he would be the one holding the weight of leading the mafia one day, he would have been our leader now.

It made me realize that this is not my job, it was not supposed to be my job, it was never supposed to be my life. It's Marcello. He's the one who was supposed to be in my place, in my house surrounded with my men. He is the right heir and not me, I lived the life he was meant to live, I gained and survived in his world, his story that became mine out of his control, out of my control.

I thought about it, I thought why my father wouldn't let him live with us. I get why he couldn't admit he had an affair before marrying my mother but he could have easily killed that woman after she had Marcello, my father is no kindhearted man, he would have went for the kill in a blink. There must be a reason, there must be something she's holding against him.

He gave them money for years, he supported them and gave them a roof on top of their heads, he wouldn't do that, never in a lifetime. Even if she threatened to tell everyone, who would believe a desperate woman over the man who won a war that's been going for decades. It doesn't make sense, there is something in this story, there's something they're hiding and neither Marcello or any of us know except for the two of them.

But if Enzo decides to hide this from me and I was a fool enough to never search, to never look behind him then I'm awake now. I'll find what he's hiding, I will put an end to this if he couldn't, if he couldn't grow some balls and tell me I have a brother.