Redblaze's Regret {COMPLETE}

Chapter 24

 Redblaze laid with his mother for what felt like an eternity, but when he finally lifted his head he was surprised to still see sunlight through the thick web of branches above him. He didn't know what to do now; his mother was dead, his camp destroyed, and he wasn't sure which of his Clanmates had made it to Sunningrocks. Had others been lost to the windstorm too?

"Redblaze! Maplenose!" A faint voice sounded from outside the shelter of the fallen tree, from in the forest. It sounded like Birchclaw, and Redblaze heard the scrambling of pawsteps nearing him. With a very heavy sigh, he drug himself to his paws and ducked out from beneath the tree, knowing there was no way to prepare for the next few moments.

"Red-" Birchclaw stopped calling as he almost slammed into Redblaze. His eyes were wide with fear and worry but he relaxed immensely at the sight of Redblaze. The red warrior barely met his deputy's gaze, grief and exhaustion weighing heavily on him. "Thank StarClan, you're okay," Birchclaw breathed, sounding winded. "Cinderfrost and Poppywhisker got to Sunningrocks and you weren't with them, and we couldn't find Maplenose either, so we thought maybe..." He spoke very quickly but trailed off at the end, and Redblaze looked to the side, not speaking. "Have you seen Maplenose?" Birchclaw asked more slowly.

Redblaze gave a small nod.

Birchclaw breathed out slowly. "Is she...?"

Sighing, Redblaze replied, "Yes." His voice cracked. "The tree, it... it fell on her. I tried to save her, Birchclaw, I did. But I couldn't."

Grief clouded Birchclaw's eyes and he dipped his head to Redblaze. "I'm very sorry, Redblaze," he murmured. "Your mother was a great cat."

The best, Redblaze thought to himself. "Is everyone else okay?" he managed. "Is the rest of the Clan safe?"

Nodding, Birchclaw replied, "Yes, everyone's fine. Shaken and scared, but nothing more than a few scratches. We're taking shelter on Sunningrocks for now." He paused for a moment. "You go on ahead and meet them, and see Nightwhisper for your injuries. I'll bring your mother." His voice was unusually tender and for a moment Redblaze forgot all about their previous tension and altercations. But then that, too, hit him like a storm and he felt thrown into a pit of despair. He'd been trying to face everything that had happened and everything he'd done, but in the process of trying to be a better cat, Maplenose had died.

Is that my fault, too? He asked silently. Is that a punishment, StarClan? Trying to put me in my place? But for the first time in many, many moons, Redblaze's heart had no room for bitterness. For the first time, he felt truly defeated.

He realized Birchclaw was still looking at him, his expression concerned. "Redblaze?" he prompted.

Redblaze nodded. "I'm going," he said quietly, and turned towards the camp entrance. He had to duck and stumble through the wreckage left behind by the windstorm; the camp looked like something out of a nightmare. It was hardly recognizable at all; the warriors' den and elders' den were destroyed, Ashstar's den was lost underneath the canopy of the tree, and countless branches, rocks, clumps of dirt, ferns, and reeds littered the clearing. Redblaze longed to turn and run, and every hair on his pelt prickled with the urge to do so, just like he'd always done. But he knew this was a problem he couldn't outrun. No matter where he went, his camp would still be destroyed. He'd still be a horrible cat. And his mother would still be dead. So, resigned and dragging his tail on the ground behind him, Redblaze headed for Sunningrocks.

His territory, too, was unrecognizable and strewn with wreckage. Though RiverClan's land held few trees, the ones it had were bent over, their branches a tangled mess. The ferns and reeds were flattened and the streams looked more like lakes, though with little water. Redblaze tripped and stumbled over rocks the entire way to the river, and sighed once he reached the slow-moving water that separated him from his Clan. He didn't want to go on, but knew he had to. He'd walked slowly enough that he could hear Birchclaw a few fox-lengths behind him. Now he had to tell the whole Clan about Maplenose's death, when he could barely process it himself.